


Will You Accept This Rose?

by mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), The Bachelorette (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bachelorette, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Reality TV, Romance, Sexual Confusion, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-08 05:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11074578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: Dan and Phil are contestants on the Bachelorette.Everything's going great... well except that neither of them is straight, and they have no idea what they're doing.Will they find love? And if they do, will it be with the girl they're supposed to be falling for, or will something happen that neither of them saw coming?





	1. Premiere

**Author's Note:**

> Phil's POV
> 
> Also guys, just a warning, this is going to be an INCREDIBLY slow burn. Sit back and enjoy the ride, because it's gonna be a long one :)

When Phil entered the limo and saw all the men holding props and wearing costumes, he wondered if maybe he should have prepared something a bit more. Right now he just planned on greeting Lucy, the Bachelorette, as he'd greet anyone.

Phil didn't entirely understand this show. Yes, the way it was set up they were supposed to be competing over her, but relationships weren't one sided, and she had to meet them halfway. Phil just planned on being himself, and if he got eliminated tonight, who cares?

He didn't really care too much about being here, anyway. In fact, him being here was extremely strange. You see, Phil was gay. Or at least leaning towards the male side of bi. He'd dated girls years ago, but it had been a long time, and he had since realized he was really more attracted to men than women. All of his recent relationships had been with men. None had lasted, though, so he hadn't deemed it worth it to go through the trouble of coming out to his parents.

Then, of course, his mom had to have a breakdown when he visited for Christmas, crying over how she wanted to see him get married and have kids, and how he was already twenty nine, and that she was starting to lose hope. That night they had decided to just turn on some bad reality TV to try to distract her, but when the Bachelorette had come on, her eyes had gone wide and she'd shaken Phil's shoulder, pleading him to try out. 

He was single at the time, and figured he'd never get picked anyway, so he put in his application. 

Well... he had gotten picked. And now here he was, crammed in a limo with nine other guys, waiting to go out and meet Lucy, the girl he'd looked into just the slightest before coming onto the show.

She was pretty. She had dark reddish brown hair and freckles, and her eyes were like emeralds. She was his exact type, actually... Well if you went off of the girls he'd been attracted to years ago. He knew that she was a baker, and that she lived in a small town in Ohio, but wanted to move. She was funny and sweet, and Phil actually did feel a tiny bit of hope, because if he was going to fall for any girl, she'd be the one.

When they pulled up and he saw her in the long shimmery dark green dress, he did feel his breath hitch. She was gorgeous, and he began to allow himself to believe that maybe this could work.

Three men got out of the limo before Phil, and he watched as they tried various gimmicks to impress her. He sighed when it was his turn, and walked up to her, a bit awkwardly.

He found himself lost in her eyes as he stumbled through a greeting, expecting a handshake, but being pulled into a hug.

"I'm a hugger, come on over here!" She encouraged lightly, and he laughed a little.

"My name's Phil."

"Nice to meet you, Phil. I'm Lucy." She joked, because of course he knew who she was.

"Oh... oh no... shoot I was supposed to be meeting an Emily here. Do you have any idea where she might have gone?" Phil joked, looking around for 'Emily'. Lucy belly laughed and held her hand to her face as she actually snorted. It was cute. Phil felt a smile immediately take over his face, proud that he had made her laugh so hard.

"Well, it was very nice to meet you, Phil. Maybe you'll find Emily inside." She indicated the mansion, letting Phil know that it was time for him to leave so she could greet the next contestant.

He made his way inside, and smiled when he heard her aside to the camera, "He was cute."

Apparently his limo had been the first, and there were only three men inside so far. They were sitting on a long couch, part of three that formed a large 'U' shape, drinking champagne and talking about how their introductions had gone. Phil made his way to a seat on the opposite couch, keeping to himself. These men were burly and attractive and muscular, and he was completely intimidated. 

He knew it'd be this way coming into this show, though, so he was prepared to be alone. He played with his fingernails as more and more men came in, until one shortish man with light brownish blonde hair and hazel eyes came to sit next to him.

"Hey, I'm Luke." The man said with a smile, holding out a hand. Phil took the handshake, returning a small smile.

"Phil." 

"Nice to meet you, Phil. Why are you sitting all alone?" It's true, he had been alone before Luke showed up. All the other men had migrated towards the larger group and were sitting and standing around the clump, drinking, as Phil sat alone without a drink in hand. 

"I don't know. This isn't really my 'crowd'." Phil made small air quotes with his fingers.

"Yeah... I get that. Well, if you ever get lonely, I've never thought of myself as one with a specific 'crowd'" Luke mimicked Phil's air quotes, "and it can be nice to have a friend in the house." Phil nodded, smiling gratefully. 

"Thanks, I'll keep it in mind." Luke grinned and got a glass of champagne, joining the larger group and making introductions. 

Phil quietly observed the room as more and more men arrived. There was a tall man who looked as if he'd just stepped out of a magazine, perfect skin, straight teeth which showed in a huge smile, and blonde hair pushed up in a quiff. He was certainly eye candy. Another man walked in and immediately began yelling, shouting "WOOOOOOOOOO WE MADE IT!", causing the room to silence. Phil's eyes immediately caught Luke's and they both laughed a little speaking silently,  _We found the crazy one._ Another man began downing champagne, chugging four glasses in a row as the group cheered him on.

More men entered, one by one, but Phil's side of the long couch stayed empty, just one man sitting on the very far side on the armrest, talking to a group that had gathered around that end of the couch. 

Finally, the last man walked in. He was a tall brunette with warm brown eyes, and he looked just as uncomfortable as Phil felt. The brunette's eyes immediately caught the empty-ish couch, and he made his way over, sitting down in the center so that he wasn't in Phil's space, but also keeping his distance from the group.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked, after he had already sat.

"No, you're fine." Phil responded, keeping his answers short. He'd already accepted that he wasn't going to have friends here.  _Maybe_ he'd talk to Luke now and then, because Luke seemed alright, but he wasn't going to try to go out of his way to talk to the strangers. 

This man seemed fine with that, sitting in silence in the middle of the black leather couch.

After a few minutes passed with the 25 men all crowded around the room, Chris Harrison entered. 

"Alright, men, let the night begin!" The men cheered as Lucy entered, and Phil heard people murmuring about how hot she looked. He felt sick. 

Lucy went on to give a generic speech about being excited and honored to be chosen as the Bachelorette, and how it was so surreal to know she may have just met her husband. Everyone cheered at this and raised their glasses, and Phil noticed that he and the brunette next to him were the only two without alcohol. 

She began talking to the main group in the front, when a muscular brunette swept her away, asking if he could talk to her alone. They made their way off, and all the other men's attention was suddenly on this man. Phil heard them talking about what an asshole he was and how rude that was and how he had a target on him now, and Phil sighed.  _Someone_ had to be the first one to pull her aside. Why were they so worked up about this man, who Phil knew at this point was named Jace. 

Men kept swapping in and out, going out to talk to Lucy and returning with stories of how much of a 'connection' they felt. Phil watched as Luke went out, and came back with a small smile. He immediately was asked how it had gone, and he just responded with a simple, "I think it went well." Phil smiled. He was starting to like Luke more. 

Just on cue, Luke caught Phil's gaze, and made his way over. 

"Hey, you know it's getting late, and you might not get a chance to talk to her if you don't go now." he warned, and Phil nodded, sighing as he stood. 

"Alright. Wish me luck!" He said almost sarcastically, and then made his way out to look for Lucy. 

He found her talking to a guy with tanned skin and deep brown hair, and he made sure to wait a few minutes before stepping in and asking if he could talk to her for a moment. He felt so awkward, and it felt so unnatural and rude to be that forward and break up a conversation, but he knew that was how this show worked. 

She nodded and smiled, getting up and hugging the other man goodbye, coming up to Phil and taking his arm, leading him to a bench. They waited a moment so the camera crew to settle, and then she hugged him. 

"Phil, right?" She asked, and he felt a little warm, knowing she remembered his name.

"Yeah... Emily?" He asked, and she elbowed him, laughing. 

They talked, and he found he was able to make her laugh easily, getting a few snorts even, which he had to admit were absolutely adorable, and conversation flowed well. They did click, and he was just beginning to feel what could maybe count as butterflies when he saw the brunette who had sat next to him on the couch walk up timidly.

"Uh... could I... I'm sorry." He shot an apologetic glance to Phil, who shrugged, knowing this was going to happen anyways. "Could I borrow you for a moment?" he asked Lucy, and she turned to Phil, smiling and hugging him. 

"It was great getting to know you a little better." She said warmly, and he smiled.

"You too." She nodded and then turned her attention to the brunette, and Phil made his way back inside.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Luke asked the minute he caught sight of Phil, and Phil smiled.

"It went well. Felt natural." He said, and Luke smiled. 

The night moved on, men talking about Lucy, some even arguing about her. At one point, Chris Harrison entered the room and everything fell silent again. Chris set a rose down on a table, and let them know that this was the first impression rose, and Lucy could give it out when she wanted. The room immediately filled with tension, and everyone's eyes were on that rose. 

Phil wasn't even thinking about the rose, though. There were twenty five men here, he didn't expect for one moment that he'd be getting it, and he was fine with that. He could get one later at the rose ceremony. Honestly, he would be a little disappointed if he were sent home tonight. He had thought he wouldn't care, but he did actually really like Lucy, but it still wouldn't be the end of the world. 

When Lucy came into the room and picked up the rose, Phil turned to watch, curious who she'd choose. Probably the guy who looked as if he'd just stepped off a magazine cover. Or the muscly and tanned man with the dark hair, who he had since learned was a firefighter. 

He didn't even know how to react when her eyes met his, and she made her way to him, taking his hand in hers. 

"Phil, could I steal you for a moment?" He nodded, shock registering in his eyes, realizing that all the men in the room were glaring at him, and almost wishing this wasn't happening. 

She led him out to a different bench, and they sat down. 

"Phil... I met a lot of men tonight, but something about you stood out. I really enjoy talking to you, and I cannot wait to get to know you better. So... Phil. Will you accept this rose?" 

Phil was still a bit in shock, but he nodded, smiling gratefully as she pinned it to his his lapel. 

"Of course I will. Thank you, I can't wait to get to know you better, either." She smiled and pulled him in for a hug, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek which made his heart flutter.

Did he actually have a crush on a girl? Or was it just the nerves? 

They pulled apart, and she took his hand, walking back into the mansion. Phil received many dirty looks as they re-entered the room, but Luke was smiling at him, so Phil decided to focus on that. 

The rest of the night was a blur, the rose ceremony happening, and five men being left without roses, having to say goodbye to Lucy and to the acquaintances they may have made already in the house. 

Phil was glad that Luke had gotten a rose. The brunette from the couch had gotten one too, and Phil wondered why he didn't engage more with the other men. Phil supposed, though, that he wasn't one to judge. 

Phil made his way into the lounge after the ceremony, once the cameras had been shut down, and all the men looked at their luggage that sat in the room. 

They were going to be staying in small rooms, two to a room. Phil's eyes immediately shot to Luke, and he felt a wave of relief when Luke was looking at him. At least he wouldn't have to room with a stranger.

"Roomie?" Luke asked, nudging Phil with his elbow, and Phil smiled.

"Yeah, sure." They took their luggage and made their way up to a room, settling in.

Phil fell asleep, happy that maybe he could actually make his family proud and be the man they'd always wanted him to be. 

 

 


	2. Week One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil's POV

Phil woke up slowly, groaning, and making his way to the bathroom to change into a casual outfit for the day. He liked Luke, but he didn't think they were quite to the 'let's change in front of each other since we're sharing a room'stage just yet. When he emerged from the bathroom, wearing dark skinny jeans and a short sleeve button up shirt that he felt made up a sufficiently classy yet still casual look, he saw Luke blinking awake.

"Morning." Phil greeted Luke, feeling in a slightly better mood today. He'd been a bit short with Luke yesterday, even though he liked him, and he decided to put more effort into their friendship. Luke had been right, it  _would_ be nice to have a friend in the house.

"Morning." Luke groaned, rolling out of bed. 

"I'm gonna go down to the kitchen and get something to eat, I'll see you down there." Phil said, smiling, and making his way out of the room and down to the kitchen. There was a group of men by the coffee pot, chatting about some sports team. Phil sighed and found some cereal, pouring himself a bowl, then awkwardly squeezing past the group to start some coffee. Once his food was made, he made his way to a small table outside overlooking the garden, enjoying the silence and space from all the other men.

That space didn't last long, as soon Phil saw the brunette who had shared his couch the day before walking through the garden absentmindedly, heading in the general direction of the patio Phil was on. When he got closer and looked up from his feet, he saw Phil and jumped a little.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to intrude." He apologized, awkwardly shuffling his feet.

"It's okay. My name's Phil." Phil gave him a small smile, still determined to be a little more social today.

"Dan. Nice to meet you." 

"You too." 

"Well... I'm gonna go get some food. I'll see you around, Phil." And then he was gone, and Phil was left sitting on the porch, listening to the birds chirping, enjoying the cool breeze that passed through the warm air. 

The first half of the day passed fairly slowly. After a while, Luke came and found Phil, introducing him to a friend he'd made named Will. Luke made a joke about his two friends in the house having rhyming names, and they all chuckled a bit. Phil learned a bit more about them, learning that Luke worked as a chef, and Will, an attractive man with striking blue eyes and dark hair with a permanent five o'clock shadow of stubble, was a bartender. Phil explained that he was the weatherman for his local news station, and they chatted for a few hours.

Will was nice. Phil preferred just talking to Luke, but Will wasn't bad. Phil supposed it was just that he never really enjoyed groups of people. He liked to spend time with one person at a time, any more and he got overwhelmed. 

The camera crews began arriving around 1pm, and they told all the men to make their way to the couches. They did, and the crews got set up. A letter was placed on the table, and the producers told the magazine man, who Phil now learned was named Jackson, to read the letter for the first group date. 

He got up and opened it, smiling and reading the words written in neat cursive.

**Jace, Johnny, Phil, Connor, Ben, Luke, Dan, Will**

**"Shoot"**

All the men began talking, trying to figure out what this could mean. Some thought that it would be basketball, others thought a gun range or archery. Phil didn't pay too much mind to it, just happy that Luke was in his group.

They made their way to a van and got in, driving to an unknown location. Luke and Will sat together, and Phil sat directly behind them, a bit discouraged that Luke hadn't sat with him. 

Jace, Johnny, Connor, and Ben all were some of the more 'manly' guys in the house, and they immediately came together, moving towards the back of the van, leaving one seat open next to Phil, where Dan sat down, careful not to sit too close.

"Hey." Phil greeted him, and Dan just nodded his head in response. 

They began to drive, and Phil wasn't really able to join in Luke and Will's conversation, and there was just enthusiastic yelling from behind him, mostly talking about sports or Lucy. 

Finally, Phil turned his head towards Dan. 

"So... what do you think 'shoot' means?" Dan shrugged, and Phil was pretty sure that was all the response he was going to get, until Dan spoke.

"I don't know. I don't know anything about this. I have no idea what I'm doing." he laughed with a self-deprecating smile, and Phil allowed himself to smile back. 

"Just between you and me..." he leaned over and stage whispered, acting over the top to clarify that he wasn't serious, "neither do I." Dan looked at him eyebrows raised, and Phil chuckled. "Because clearly everyone thinks I know exactly what I'm doing, I'm obviously super comfortable here." He said sarcastically. Dan didn't laugh, instead just looking at him with his eyebrows raised a bit.

"Honestly, I did. Hey, I mean you got the first impression rose, so you must know at least a little about what you're doing."

"I don't even know how that happened. A stroke of luck. I made an awkward joke, and somehow she found it funny." Dan nodded now, taking in this new information about Phil. They chatted here and there for the rest of the drive, which ended up being fairly long. They were comfortable with silence, but they did get to know each other a bit better. 

Phil learned that Dan was a lawyer, and he told him about his own job as a weatherman. They talked about the UK, because they were the only two Brits here, and Phil actually managed to make Dan laugh at a joke he made about the Queen being the Bachelorette next season. When Dan laughed, dimples appeared on his cheeks and his eyes squinted making little crinkles in his skin. Phil smiled as he watched Dan, then quickly looked away. 

All these men were attractive. It was the nature of this show. But Dan had something special that wasn't just your classic 'hot guy'. He was cute and had a sweet look about him that also had just a hint of danger, and Phil found him reminding himself that he was here for Lucy. Not that he was into Dan, but he just needed to not even think about the looks of the other men. 

Phil started to wonder why he had thought that coming on a show surrounded by attractive single men was his idea of how to get a wife so his mum would be happy. 

He sighed. 

When they finally arrived at a park with a large building on the side, the men filed out of the van and into the field. There, they were met with Lucy. 

She wasn't wearing her long green dress this time. No, this time she was in just a simple tank top, sneakers, and shorts with her hair back in a ponytail, and Phil honestly thought she looked even better this way. More natural. She greeted them all, and after a bit of lead up, explained that today they were doing a photoshoot for a calendar. They'd each have one month to take a photo alone with Lucy, and then one month with Lucy and one other man. 

Phil nodded at this, realizing why she had written 'Shoot'. 

They made their way into the building, and were immediately assaulted by makeup artists and costumers, being transformed into their single months. 

Phil was May, and they dressed him in bright colors, explaining that his photoshoot was going to be in a bed of flowers, picking one and handing it to Lucy. He got dolled up, and then met with the other men to watch the photoshoots.

First was Johnny. Johnny was October, and they had him dressed as Frankenstein with Lucy dressed as Little Red Riding Hood, each carrying baskets of candy. They posed a few different ways, and Phil watched, cringing a bit as Johnny dropped his basket to lift Lucy up, and Phil saw the momentary panic in her eyes. Phil had noticed Johnny in the house, and he was one of the loud overly-confident ones. Phil rolled his eyes at this display and looked to the side, where he saw Dan sharing a similar expression.

Phil's eyes lingered on Dan for a moment. He must have been September, because he was clearly meant to represent Fall. Dan was dressed in simple black pants and a loose fitting faded orange shirt that somehow fit him perfectly. He had a scarf around his neck, and the colors shifted between browns and oranges and yellows and reds, making it look like leaves strewn across the ground. His hair was pushed up off his head in a quiff, and it was curly instead of straight as it had been twenty minutes ago. Dan didn't look happy about any of this, but Phil smiled because he was truly stunning. 

Phil shifted his gaze back to see the end of Johnny and Lucy's shoot, and she moved to the next. She went through several shoots before getting to Phil. 

He walked up and she took his hands, stepping up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek in greeting.

"It's good to see you, Phil." She smiled, and it was infectious, making his own lips twitch up into a grin.

"Good to see you too." He responded, taking a flower from the producers. They posed a few ways, him on one knee handing her the bright pink flower, him standing just inches from her, pressing his forehead down into hers as they held the flower between them, a few goofy ones of him throwing the flower to her, and her trying to catch it, which resulted in snort-laughing fits which brought tears to his eyes. The cameramen seemed to end up deciding to like their last pose most, though, making them try it several times. 

Phil stood behind Lucy, arms wrapped around her from behind, as they both held the flower in their hands together in front of her. After they had gotten several shots, Lucy turned her head to look at Phil, and their noses brushed. Phil was suddenly extremely aware of how close they were, and his eyes shot open before closing as she pressed a quick kiss to his lips. 

Phil heard the men who were watching grumble, and once again he found himself not entirely happy that he'd been singled out by her, not wanting to have to deal with the jealous men in the house. Finally their shoot was over, and she thanked him. He smiled at her and made his way back to the group, pretending not to notice the glares directed his way. 

Luke clapped him on the back and congratulated him, to which he smiled, but it was forced. He didn't want any congratulations that would bring even more attention to that kiss. 

Dan was standing next to Phil now, and Phil was surprised when he heard the tall brunette speak.

"She likes you." Phil tilted his head a bit, a small smile on his face at this comment. There was no jealousy, no anger, and no congratulations either. Just a statement. He liked it.

"I guess so. I don't know what I did to make that happen." Phil laughed a bit, but once again Dan didn't return his laugh, simply thinking his words through before giving Phil his honest thoughts.

"You were yourself. So many people here try to put up a facade. You're just you, and I think she sees that." Phil didn't know how to respond to that, so he just mumbled a small 'Thanks', shuffling his feet. Dan threw him off with these sudden thought out opinions, but in a good way. He liked getting to see how the other man viewed the situation. 

Dan was called up soon after this, and Phil watched as he sat in the leaves with Lucy. They got some shots of them tossing leaves in the air, and Phil knew it'd make an amazing photo. 

Soon they were all being called back in to change wardrobe for their duo months, and Phil was happily surprised when he got paired with Dan. He really did not want to have to do a shoot with Johnny. He was even happier when he found out they got December. 

December was by far Phil's favorite month. He'd always loved the holidays, and Christmas was his favorite day of the year. While Phil watched Jace come out in an american flag speedo for July, Phil was relieved to be pulling on ugly patterned knit sweaters with Dan, and being handed steaming mugs of hot cocoa. 

They went first and they sat in front of a fireplace on pillows with presents scattered around. Lucy was placed in the middle with Dan and Phil on either side, and there was a snow machine. Phil didn't question why it was supposed to be snowing inside, but simply looked up in wonder at the little clusters of 'snow' that were truthfully just bubbles. Phil accidentally got a cluster in his mouth as he opened it to look up, tasting the disgusting soapy bitterness, and gagging a bit as Dan and Lucy immediately turned to ask if he was okay, and he laughed them off. 

"I'm fine I'm fine. Just got soap in my mouth." They all laughed, and that was when the camera clicked that took the photo that would be used in the calendar. 

In the end they got to see all the shots and they were all beautiful. Phil wasn't upset, though, when Luke won the 'competition' by having the best picture for June. His picture was incredible, honestly. They had shot it underwater in the pool, and it was of him and Lucy holding hands as they swam, him lifting her hand up to plant a kiss to it, their eyes locked on each other with small smiles. 

It was breathtaking, and Phil gave Luke a congratulatory smile as he disappeared for his extra time with Lucy. The rest of them got back into the van and made their way back to the mansion.

It had been a long day and Phil passed out almost immediately, but not after talking to Dan on the ride home and a bit before they slept, realizing that they both liked the same bands and were both huge video game nerds. Phil ended up laughing more than he had in a long time that night, and went to bed smiling.

The rest of the week was pretty slow before the rose ceremony. Two days later Jackson got a one on one date, and then after that there was another group date. Phil was pretty much just left to wander the mansion for this week, and he ended up finding himself spending a lot of time with Dan, especially when Luke was with Will. 

They didn't talk much, honestly. They'd just go out and eat together on the patio or go for walks through the garden, enjoying the comfortable silence.

At the cocktail party, Phil only got a few moments alone with Lucy, and he was honestly a bit relieved when she didn't try for another kiss. They just talked about the photoshoot and how much fun they'd had, and discussed their favorite pastries, since Lucy ran a bakery. She said her favorite pastries were probably cupcakes, and he argued that donuts had more variety. They laughed and talked, but were interrupted soon, and Phil was okay with that as he gave her a goodbye hug.

By the time the rose ceremony came around, Phil found that he wasn't too nervous about himself. He wasn't cocky, but he also could tell that Lucy liked him, and he was fairly certain he had another week here. He was a bit more nervous for Dan, which surprised him. He was hoping that Dan got a rose so he wouldn't get sent home. Dan did receive a rose, and so did Phil.

Three men were eliminated that night, none of which Phil remembered the names of, and Phil ended up staying up late, sipping champagne on the patio with Dan, enjoying the cool air of night. 

 


	3. Week Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dan's POV
> 
> ***Trigger warning - past abuse mentioned. Not going into detail with it bc I want you to be surprised as it comes, and I won't be posting these warnings on future chapters. Just know abuse/possibly rape will be mentioned throughout this fic***

When Dan woke up three days after the rose ceremony, he groaned. He could hear the camera crew talking down the hall and knew he'd get called out soon, so he slipped into the shower and got ready, trying to wake himself up.

"Hey, you almost done in there?" Will called from the room. 

"Yeah, sorry. Just a minute!" Dan called back, quickly running his toothbrush across the teeth and leaving so Will could have the bathroom. He didn't talk to Will much, they had both been kind of outcasts the first night and just ended up in a room together. They weren't about to become best friends, but at least Will wasn't some crazy jock.

Dan was even more relieved that even though Will was nice and all, and objectively attractive, he wasn't at all Dan's type. Not that Dan had a type exactly... he just knew Will wasn't it. 

Dan sighed. Was there  _any_ possibility this show could work for him? He'd been attracted to girls before, even in a relationship with a few, so he knew he wasn't fully gay. Lately, though, his romantic experiences had been men and they'd been hell, leaving him broken and confused. 

He honestly didn't even know if he could love anymore. He supposed that was why he had sent in an application on a whim. To test and see if he was capable of falling in love after what had happened. If he was capable of trust. Dan sat on his small bed, head in hands as Will showered, and tried not to think about it. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

He remembered meeting Alec. He remembered how his dark hair had stuck out in spikes and how his nails were always painted black. He remembered how he had been introduced to Alec's soft side... or at least the soft side Alec had decided to show him. He knew now that it was all a lie. He remembered Alec whispering to him in the dead of night how he was the only one, how he loved him, how they'd be together forever, and he remembered saying he loved Alec back without hesitation.

He remembered falling for Alec, feeling as if there was nothing he wouldn't do for him. 

He remembered the irony of working an assault case, looking over paperwork for the night when Alec had stumbled in, drunk, and when Dan had told him he had to work Alec had thrown the papers off Dan's desk. How he had pinned Dan to the wall and wrapped his fingers around Dan's throat, cutting off his air supply. He remembered begging Alec to stop, and he remembered how Alec had hit him. The bruises that had been left. The pain, the aching, the tears. 

He remembered lying there, naked and weak, sobbing as Alec kicked him before leaving. 

He remembered shivering at night, rocking back and forth as he tried to forget about Alec. Tried to stop thinking about him. Tried to stop loving him.

He remembered Alec coming back with a rose, saying he had bought it for Dan. He remembered realizing there was a rosebush right outside his apartment and that Alec was lying, but not caring. He remembered wanting to forgive Alec. He remembered telling Alec that he forgave him and that he still loved him. He remembered being scared when he let Alec take him again, crying through the pain, but not telling Alec to stop. He remembered crying whenever Alec fell asleep.

He remembered how Alec had drank more. How he had continued to not listen when Dan told him no. How he'd always come back looking like a hurt puppy begging for forgiveness, and Dan would always give it to him. 

He remembered the last time Alec had gotten drunk. He remembered seeing the knife in between his painted fingers. He remembered screaming and running, and he remembered Alec pinning him down and fucking him, all the while cutting deep lines into Dan's skin with the blade. He remembered the cops coming, after being called by a neighbor who heard his screams. He remembered Alec being taken away.

He remembered crying because he didn't want Alec to go.

"Hey... you okay?" Dan shook out of his trance, realizing Will was standing in front of him, looking concerned, and a tear was dripping down his cheek.

"Yeah... sorry... um... I'm gonna go." Dan wiped the tear off his face and hurried out of the room, not wanting to explain himself. That night that Alec had been taken away... that was two years ago today. Dan had gotten over him, but it had taken a long time. And now he was here. He was looking for something healthy, able to recognize now how unhealthy he and Alec had been. 

When Dan entered the kitchen he quickly got a bowl of cereal and made his way to the patio, sighing in relief as he saw that it was empty. He took a seat at the table and breathed in the fresh air, allowing it to clear his mind. 

He wasn't particularly surprised when Phil came out about five minutes later, as they'd made this a bit of the routine since arriving at the mansion.

"Can I sit here?" Phil asked and Dan smiled, grateful that Phil, unlike many of the other people in this house, didn't just assume that Dan would want to talk to him. He always asked, and Dan appreciated that.

"Yeah, go ahead." He invited, and Phil sat down, reaching into his bowl of cereal and pulling out a dry handful, popping it in his mouth and chewing. Dan stared it him, jaw slack, in utter horror. 

"You're a monster!" He exclaimed, and Phil looked up, surprised and confused, then down at his bowl of dry cereal with his hand moving around in it to get the right next handful, and he laughed.

"What, you've never had dry cereal before?" he chuckled.

"I don't see how this is a laughing matter, Phil! Yes I have, but only in the most dire of situations! You need milk!" Dan mimed pulling a phone out of his pocket, shaping his expression into one of urgency. "Yes, please, PLEASE THE MAN DOESN'T HAVE ANY MILK, GET HERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" Phil's head went back as he laughed, having to put his cereal down so he could clutch his stomach, tongue poking out between his teeth. Dan smiled, happy with himself for getting this reaction from Phil. 

They joked and talked for a while, and all thoughts of Alec were washed from Dan's brain. 

At 1pm, the seemingly designated time for letters to be read to announce dates, they were called into the living room. Two days ago, the day after the rose ceremony, there had been a group date that Dan hadn't been on. Today there would either be a one on one date or another group date. Dan and Phil made their way into the living room together, and sat next to each other on one of the long couches, Luke and Will coming to sit with them. They waited for a while, then the letter was delivered to Phil and he was told to stand in front of the group and read it out loud. 

Dan looked to Phil, and Phil's eyes met his, panicked and confused. Dan smiled in reassurance, and shook his head. Why did Phil feel so undeserving and surprised when he got picked out of the pack? Not only was he incredibly attractive, but Lucy had obviously taken a liking to him. He'd gotten the first impression rose  _and_ the first kiss of the season to Dan's knowledge. As far as he knew no one else had kissed her yet. Of course the network was going to want to feature him. 

He watched as Phil made his way up and nervously read out the card.

**Greg, Jackson, Dan, Carlos, Ben, Samuel, Tim, and Phil**

**"Let's kick back, _then_ relax"**

Once again, the group devolved into conversations of what the little hint could mean as they always did. Dan didn't really see the point to this, they'd have to do whatever it was anyway. 

Phil came back to sit next to Dan and sighed. 

"I hate being the center of attention. I feel like half the guys in here want to eat me for lunch." Dan laughed, shaking his head.

"Well sorry, you're interesting whether you like it or not." now it was Phil's turn to shake his head as he smiled. 

"Anyway, it looks like we're going on a date together again." Dan said, happy that he'd have Phil with him.

"Oh are we now?" Phil asked, raising an eyebrow, and Dan looked at him confused until he realized how the sentence he had just said could have been interpreted.

"I mean... not  _we're going on a date together._ We're going on a date with a girl... together." Phil's second eyebrow joined his first, making their way up to his hairline. "Oh god, you know what I mean, this is just getting worse the more I try." Phil laughed, and Dan blushed in embarrassment. 

"You guys excited? What do you think the date will be?" Luke asked, joining their conversation with Will following quickly behind. 

"Yeah, I'm really ready to get out of this house." Phil said, and Dan nodded in enthusiastic agreement. "As for the hint, I have no idea. Figure I'll just stress myself out thinking about it, so I'm just gonna let the day takes me where it takes me." Dan smiled at this response. He was glad he had found Phil. Dan didn't make friends easily, and Phil was slowly working himself into that category in Dan's mind. 

"Alright, boys, make your way out to the van!" Chris Harrison announced, and the men going on the date got up and headed outside. Dan didn't think about whether or not he was going to sit next to Phil this time, simply sliding into the seat next to him.

This drive was shorter, but Dan was incredibly annoyed by the end of it. Greg in the back, and he was loud and angry all the time, and he was giving Dan a headache. At one point Dan turned around, planning on telling him to shut the hell up, when the incredibly tall and almost Ken doll-esque man with the blonde quiff and tanned skin, Jackson, turned to Greg who was in the middle of a rant about how 'Johnny was definitely here for the wrong reasons' and just laughed at him, saying he needed to chill.

Dan smiled, grateful that Greg listened, and happy he wasn't the one who had to join confrontation. Dan hated confrontation, but he also couldn't hold in his annoyance. Those didn't go hand in hand.

Right before Dan turned back around to face the front of the van, Jackson looked up to meet his eye and must have seen the relieved look on Dan's face from Greg's recent silence, and Jackson shot him a wink saying 'thank you'. 

Dan had seen that this was sort of Jackson's thing. He winked at everyone. Still, it made Dan's stomach do a little flip flop as he turned back around, cursing himself and reminding himself that he was here to prove to himself that he could fall in love. And he could fall in love with a  _girl._ Men had only ever hurt him in the past, and he was determined he wasn't going to let himself be put through that again. And who knows... maybe if he got married to a girl his family would finally let him back in.

When they arrived at their destination, Dan's heart sank at the arena that stood before them. Of course the date he went on _had_ to be the sport one. Dan heard Phil groan beside him, and turned to shrug in defeat, sharing their mutual hate of physical activity. They left the van begrudgingly and headed into the arena, where Lucy awaited.

Lucy was dressed in some sort of uniform, purple running shorts and a matching jersey with a headband in her hair which was pulled back in a ponytail, high purple socks, and white shoes. She was pretty, Dan had to give her that. And she was nice and funny... easy to talk to. He just wasn't quite feeling a romantic connection yet. He still had hope that that could change, though, and he tried to force an excited look on his face as they approached. 

"Hey guys! So today I was thinking we could play a little game of soccer for the first half of this date!" Most of the guys cheered. Dan and Phil just kind of stood there, trying not to look unenthusiastic, but also not whooping and hollering like the other men. Ben and Tim actually jumped into each other's shoulders, bouncing off each other, and Dan was fairly certain he had never been around this much testosterone in his life. 

They changed into uniforms. They got to choose their teams, and Dan wasn't sure this was an advantage or disadvantage. On the plus side, he had Phil on his team, along with Carlos and Samuel. Samuel was alright. He seemed to not feed into the drama, just simply there for Lucy, and keeping to himself otherwise. Dan could respect that, but something about the clean-cut nature of Samuel didn't entirely make him seem approachable. Carlos was Venezuelan and Dan had to be honest, he couldn't understand half of the things that man said through his thick accent. He seemed fairly athletic though, so maybe he'd be their saving grace. Of course they were being pitted against Greg, Jackson, Ben, and Tim... so Dan didn't have too much hope.

The game was clearly won before it started, and Dan felt like a chicken with its head cut off, running (but more often just walking to be honest) around the field, not knowing where to go. He was exhausted and panting and they were down 12-0.

Finally he put his hands on his knees, gasping in deep breaths to try and regain his normal breathing cycle, when he felt something hit his head, hard, and he fell backwards onto the grass.

When he opened his eyes, lifting a hand to his forehead, he saw Jackson leaned right over him. His heart jumped up in his throat and he  _really_ needed Jackson to get away, because Dan's head was swimming a bit, and Jackson was looking very attractive. Jackson was asking him if it hurt and if he was okay, apologizing for hitting him with the soccer ball, and after Dan had a few minutes to clear his head and let his eyes focus, he sat up causing Jackson to move, much to his relief. 

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Sorry guys. Think I might sit the rest out." Everyone nodded, and a medical team was sent over to check on him, but ended up deeming him okay, not having sustained a concussion, and just gave him an ice pack to press to his head.. 

The soccer game wrapped up shortly anyway, the other team winning to no one's surprise. Still, they all jumped and hooted and hollered, and Dan would never be able to understand this style of celebration. 

They all were escorted into a building nearby, and made their way to a fancy, lowly lit indoor pool. They were told to change, and Dan made his way to a dressing room, pulling on the shorts that were just a bit too short for his comfort that had been handed to him by a producer. He made his way back to the pool and slipped in immediately, feeling extremely self conscious about his body, standing next to so many men with eight packs and biceps the size of cantaloupes. 

He saw Phil make a similar dash to get in the pool and smiled, swimming over to him. Phil didn't have anything to be ashamed of. I mean, sure he was as white as a snowflake, and he wasn't particularly muscular, but Dan thought he was pretty fit. 

"How's your head?" Phil asked immediately as Dan drew near, and Dan smiled.

"Better, thanks. They gave me some ice. How are your lungs?" He had seen Phil in a similar state of heaving for breath during the game, and Phil chuckled, confirming that he had only _just_ gotten back to normal. 

Lucy joined the group and Dan despised the way some of the guys looked at her in her bikini. Greg in particular had the eyes of a cheetah stalking a gazelle, just waiting for the right moment to pounce. 

Much to Dan's surprise, Lucy began making her way right up to him and Phil.

"Hey Dan, is your head doing any better?" There was real concern in Lucy's voice, and he smiled assuring her that he was fine. 

"I'm glad. How are you, Phil?" She asked, and Dan could see the obvious affection in her eyes. He wasn't surprised. Phil was a catch, Dan was sure he'd make it to the top three if not to the end. 

"I'm good. Glad Dan didn't die." Phil laughed, and Dan chuckled. 

Lucy tread water with them for a while as the other men glared, and Dan was surprised when she actually turned her attention to him for a bit, asking him why he straightened his hair. This made him realize that his hair was getting wet from the pool. Not that it hadn't been before, what with the sweat from the running and then the ice pack pressed to his head. He sighed.

"I hate my natural hair. It's just so... poofy." 

"Well I think it's cute!" Lucy chirped, and she actually put her arms around Dan, squeezing his sides playfully before moving away so she could tread water again. Dan blushed and said a quick goodbye as she departed to go talk to the other men.

"She likes you!" Phil beamed, and Dan laughed nervously.

"Not as much as you." Why was Phil happy about that? Wasn't this supposed to be a competition? He supposed that he did want Phil to stick around, though, so he would want Lucy to like Phil so that if Dan was kept on the show he'd still have a friend with him. 

"I don't know... I think the kiss before was a pity kiss. I think she just saw that I was holding back sneezes because of all the pollen from the flowers."

"Wait weren't the flowers fake?" 

"Most of them, yeah, but some were real." 

"Oh... all our leaves were fake. It was disappointing, they didn't have that satisfying  _crunch_ that dry leaves usually have." Phil laughed at this, and Dan smiled at the tip of the tongue poking out between his friend's teeth. 

The rest of the night passed pretty quickly and without event, and soon Dan was pulling the covers over him in his small room with Will. He wished he shared a room with Phil. Will was nice, but his friendship with Phil was developing, and Dan didn't really have a friendship with Will, just a mutual feeling of 'we don't drive each other crazy'. 

Will actually got the next one on one date two days later, and Dan congratulated him. 

That night was the cocktail party, and Dan spent the night by Phil's side, lightly sipping champagne, only leaving for a brief moment to speak to Lucy.

"You look beautiful tonight." He complimented, and she did. She wore a light green floor length dress with rhinestones riddling it, and green was certainly her color. It brought out her strikingly green eyes. 

"Thank you so much, you don't look too bad yourself. Though I do wish you kept your hair curly." She reached forward to ruffle his hair, and Dan giggled.

She began to talk about family, and Dan made sure to steer all the questions back to her after giving extremely generic answers. He wasn't close with his family for many reasons, and he didn't really wish to speak of them. She didn't seem to mind, though, and the conversation passed easily as always with her. Tim was the one to step in after a few minutes, and Dan didn't really mind, going back to sit with Phil.

At the rose ceremony, Dan got one of the first roses. Phil also got a rose which was when Dan relaxed. Unfortunately Greg got one, but Dan figured as long as he stayed away from Greg everything would be fine. 

In the end, three men were sent home like last week. Dan knew that Tim was one of them, he didn't remember the names of the other two. When the cameras were off, he began heading to his room, only stopping in the hall for a moment to shoot Phil a smile when Phil congratulated him on the rose, saying he was glad he wouldn't have to sit around the mansion alone next week. 

Dan was glad too.

 


	4. Week Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil's POV

The next three days passed with only one group date, which Dan was on, but Phil wasn't. That was definitely the most boring day Phil had spent since the start of this show, and he spent the entire day feeling fidgety and not knowing what to do with himself.

Now it was rolling around to day four, and everyone knew that today there'd have to be a date letter.

"Hey Phil, Dan's asking where you are." Phil woke up to Luke prodding him in the shoulder and groaned. 

"What does he want?" 

"He just has a question for you. He said it wasn't important if you were busy or asleep, but it's already 11 so I decided you could get up." Luke said with a playful smirk.

"You should have listened to him." Phil grumbled, getting out of bed. He threw on jeans and a shirt and ran a toothbrush across his teeth before heading downstairs. He looked around for a bit, not seeing Dan, then made his way to the patio, and there Dan was, pacing, playing with his fingernails nervously. When he looked up and saw Phil he smiled, making his way over.

"Hey, you came down." Dan observed.

"Yeah, Luke dragged me out of bed." Phil moaned, still grumpy he had been woken up.

"I'm sorry." 

"It's fine. What'd you want to talk to me about?" 

Dan went back to playing with his fingernails, not looking Phil in the eye as he explained, "Well... I was talking to Will last night... and we don't talk too much. I mean he's nice and everything, but we just don't really click. And he and Luke have been hanging out a bunch, so Will asked me if I'd mind swapping rooms with Luke. I said I didn't mind, but I wanted to check with you first. You know, in case you don't want me for a roommate, or..." Dan trailed off, watching the smile grow on Phil's face.

"Of course I want you as a roommate, you dork! That'd be perfect! I mean yeah, Luke was my first friend here, but he and Will are obviously closer and I feel like we..." Phil tried to find the right words. "We... I don't know." 

Dan finished his thought for him. "We go well together."

"Yeah" Phil affirmed, smiling. "We do." 

"Alright then, let's move my stuff!" They headed back inside where Luke and Will were already waiting for them.

"Operation wife swap is a go." Dan joked, and Phil smiled when he saw Luke and Will light up. He was glad they had formed a close friendship. He was even happier that he was pretty sure his bond with Dan was stronger. 

"Wrong reality show, hon." Phil teased, playing into the whole 'wife swap' joke. 

They swapped Dan and Luke's things, and soon Dan was falling into the bed set up across the narrow room from where Phil lay in his bed. 

"Hey roomie." Phil smiled, looking over to Dan. 

"Hey, I thought you were my wife!" 

"Oh, we both know you'd be the wife in this relationship." 

"I'm offended!" Dan put a hand to his chest in mock hurt and Phil giggled. This was nice. Even if he still was a bit unsure about whether or not he could fall for Lucy, he had time to figure it out, and in the meantime he had a friend. 

"Dan?" Phil asked, suddenly serious as he turned towards his friend who raised his eyebrows, waiting for the question to follow. "We can stay friends after this whole thing, right?" 

"You're not gonna be able to lose me that easy, Phil." Dan responded, and Phil smiled, returning his gaze to the ceiling. 

They laid in their room relaxing for about an hour before a cameraman knocked on the door, informing them that they had to make their way down to the lounge. They did, and Johnny was the one to read the date card this time.

**Phil,**

**"Let's go back to basics"**

People were congratulating him, and some were glaring, but all Phil could feel was stress. He had a one on one? That was so much pressure, an entire day together. He took a deep breath, reminding himself this was Lucy. Lucy who he had an amazingly easy time talking to. Lucy who he maybe even had a tiny crush on. Lucy who would be doing her best to make this go smoothly as well as him. He could do this. 

He got up and changed into a slightly more classy shirt, then got in the limo that was going to take him to his date, waving one last goodbye to Dan. 

He knew he should be thinking about his date, but the whole way there all he could think was to worry and hope that Dan had an easier time than he did being alone in the house when the other was gone. 

It was only when the limo was pulling off the freeway that Phil's nerves began picking up, awaiting what was to come. 

He was getting out in a gravel parking lot that was surrounded by trees, and all Phil could hope was that they wouldn't be having to chop anything down or climb up anything today. He was pretty sure he'd find a way to accidentally injure one of them. 

When he saw Lucy in a long flowing green skirt and a tight light blue crop top, a smile formed on his face. She was truly beautiful, and he just had to remind himself that the cameras were on, and now was his time to fall in love. 

He was the one to initiate the greeting of kissing her on the cheek this time, and she linked their hands and began walking down a path into the woods.

"So how's your week been? I feel like we haven't talked in ages!" Phil laughed. It had only been since the cocktail party four days ago, but in the middle of the environment of this show it did feel like a while.

"Yeah, I know. My week's been good. I'm actually starting to form some good friendships, which is nice. I mean, obviously it's not why I'm here..." he gave her a pointed look, mostly for the cameras' sake because he knew the show wanted that sort of thing from him, "but it's really nice to have some people you can hang out with on the slow days." She nodded understandingly.

"Yeah, you and Dan have been getting pretty close, haven't you?" She smiled, and he was honestly impressed at how observant she was, since she had so much else to focus on right now.

"Yeah. He's a really great guy." 

"I say it's not fair." She said decidedly, and Phil raised his eyebrows in confusion and surprise.

"Is that so?" he asked, wondering what she meant.

"Yes. It's not fair. You both have accents that make me weak at the knees, it's not fair that you're always together because then it's just twice as hard to remember all the other guys." Phil laughed, putting his arm around her waist to squeeze her in a half-hug. He left his hand there, and she didn't seem to mind. He was relieved that she hadn't actually said anything to challenge Phil's friendship with Dan, because he'd felt a serious surge of protectiveness rush through him when he thought she might be about to. 

They walked for a while, and Phil had been right to not worry before, because Lucy was just so easy to talk to. She reminded him a bit of his old best friend back at the station, Louise. They had been so close, and she had always been so easy for Phil to talk to, but then she'd gotten married and had a kid and moved to another town, and they had just fallen out of touch. Lucy gave the same feeling to Phil. 

Finally the trail ended at the tree line, and they walked into a meadow with a small pond in the middle. At the side of the pond was a blanket with a picnic basket on it, and Phil smiled. This would be fun. 

They had a lovely picnic, throwing bits of corn from the corn on the cob they found in the basket at the ducks who waddled excitedly from the pond to come gather the food. Lucy had almost started throwing bread, but switched to the corn when Phil informed her that bread was actually really bad for ducks, and a lot of people didn't know that and would feed it to them anyway, causing a lot of problems with the ducks' digestion. 

"I had no idea!" Lucy exclaimed, eyes wide, then turned to face directly at a camera, speaking into it seriously as she pointed her finger for extra effect.

"Hey all of you out there watching, don't feed ducks bread, it's bad for them!"

Phil laughed, pulling her attention back. "Alright, you've won me over now, taking time to educate the world so we can save the lives of the animals. You've found my weakness." 

"Oh well then you'd just love to meet my little Corgi, now wouldn't you?" Lucy grinned, and Phil nodded enthusiastically.

"I love Corgis!" 

They went on to talk about her Corgi, Belinda, who Lucy would let run around her bakery and greet her customers. It was cute, and Phil loved when he was able to make her snort by laughing too hard, her freckled nose crinkling up. He had a lot of fun with Lucy. 

They talked until the sun went down, and finally Lucy reached into the basket, pulling out a rose. 

"Phil, I've had a lovely time tonight. I wanted to go back to basics and just have a simple picnic, and it's been one of my favorite nights since coming here. Will you accept this rose?" 

Phil realized all of a sudden how close they were sitting, how she'd moved closer after getting the rose. 

"Of course I will." He said, and he wasn't surprised when she leaned in for a kiss. 

He kissed her back, properly this time, not just a peck. It felt strange, it'd been a long time since he'd kissed a girl. It was nice... he supposed... but it just felt like kissing a friend. He wasn't getting any butterflies or any burning desire to continue the kiss or move further. Instead he just kissed her back until they naturally pulled away, a blush on both their cheeks. She stood up and took his hand, and they made their way back to the parking lot.

On the walk back Phil knew he should be freaking out about that kiss and thinking about her, but the only way he was freaking out about the kiss was realizing that that would most certainly be broadcast to the world, and he felt a little strange having the world see him kiss a girl. Oh well, this is what he had signed up for, he couldn't exactly complain that he was going to be on camera, seeing as this _was_ a TV show. 

Lucy pulled him back for one more short kiss before he got into the limo, bidding her goodbye for now. 

He drove back, and all he could think of on the way back was how Dan would be in their room and he could just sit and relax with his new friend, who was now his roommate as well.

When he did get back, Dan pulled him into a tight hug.

"Phiiiiilllll..." Dan whined. "You left me alone all day, it was so boringgggg." Phil laughed and shook his head, secretly happy that he wasn't the only one who got bored when the other left.

 

The next three days passed well. Phil spent every hour with Dan, and they just talked. Dan was quickly becoming Phil's best friend, and he was excited. He'd never really had a best friend before aside from Louise.

At the cocktail party, Phil decided to let the other guys talk to Lucy since he already had a rose and he felt selfish stealing any time. Dan did talk to her, but only for about two minutes, returning to Phil's side immediately after.

They were also just enjoying getting slightly tipsy off champagne and talking about the latest Muse album on a bench in the garden, smelling the sweet scent of the flowers around them. 

Dan got a rose.

Phil didn't even pay attention to the three men who were eliminated, caught in Dan's gaze, smiling at his friend because they had at least one more week to spend together, and Phil was happy.


	5. Week Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of you. You are all seriously the most incredible readers I could ask for, and it means so much to me that so many of you go through and read multiples of my fics because you like my style. It makes me so happy with every comment I receive, and just thank you guys for being such an incredible and supportive community <3

Dan was woken up rudely by cameramen knocking on the door and calling them down to the lounge. He groaned, and heard a similar groan from the lump that was Phil, wrapped up in his blankets on the bed across the small room. 

Dan reached over to his phone to check the time, and his eyes widened when he saw they were being woken up at 7am. Generally they were allowed to sleep in here, and he'd grown accustomed to it. 

Dan was slightly grumpy as he changed and brushed his teeth, Phil following close behind. Dan watched as Phil put on some wide rimmed glasses that honestly looked adorable on him, and opened his mouth in surprise.

"You never told me you wear glasses!"

"Well I don't usually. I usually just go with contacts." Phil responded, fumbling with his glasses a bit in embarrassment.

"Well I think you should wear them more. They suit you." Dan said decidedly.

"I think you should wear your hair curly more. It suits you." Phil retorted, and Dan held his hands up in defeat.

They spent a moment looking in the mirror to make sure they didn't look  _awful_ since they were most likely about to be filmed, then made their way down to the lounge.

"Fuck the world before 10am." Dan grumbled, and Phil nodded in agreement. 

"You can say that again." Dan allowed a sly smile to cross his face.

"Fuck the world before..."

"Shut up." Phil laughed, shoving Dan's side. They sat down on one of the couches where several other sleepy men were gathering, and waited for what was to come. 

After everyone was gathered, Lucy walked in. You could feel the shift in the room as everyone switched from sleepy slouching grumbling balls of complaint to sitting straight up with perfect posture, attention completely focused on Lucy, plastering attentive smiles to their faces. Dan shook his head a bit at how much like lost puppies most of the men here were. 

He was glad that the little group he'd formed (Him, Phil, Luke, and Will) didn't really play into that and were much more genuine around Lucy, not trying to put up any sort of act.

Lucy rubbed her hands together for a moment, building suspense, before she finally put her arms up in excitement, shouting out, "WE'RE GOING TO MEXICO!" There were cheers around the table, and Dan allowed himself to join in a bit. He wasn't cheering, god no. But he smiled and looked over at Phil who looked excited too.

Dan had always wanted to travel but never really had the money, and it was definitely an aspect of being on this show that he was excited for. 

They were all told to pack, and Dan and Phil returned to their room to put their things together.

"Are you excited?" Dan asked as he put his toothbrush in a little ziplock bag.

"Are you kidding me? I'm terrified! I can't wait, don't get me wrong, but I don't speak Spanish! What if I try to talk to someone and accidentally say something awful and end up getting attacked?" Dan raised his eyebrows at Phil's response, laughing.

"Do you really think that's going to happen?"

"You don't know the kind of people I attract. Wherever I go, weird things happen and I end up having the weirdest interactions with people."

"Are you calling me crazy?" Dan joked, and Phil laughed.

"Not you, you dork. See, there's a difference. I keep you around because you're one of the rare ones that's good crazy. All the others I just run from." Dan smiled, and they finished up packing.

"Well, I promise that if some crazy person attacks you for accidentally telling them you fucked their mother's corpse, I'll... well actually I'll probably just sit back and laugh, I wouldn't be able to help in a fight." Dan chuckled, and Phil's eyes widened at Dan's words.

"Dan, that's disgusting!"

"Hey, necrophilia is a thing!"  

"Your mind is a dark place."

"Are you just learning this now?"

They laughed as they made their way down the stairs, and then they were in a van, and then at the airport and boarding a plane.

The flight wasn't too long, but Phil fell asleep, resting his head on Dan's shoulder. Dan sighed and smiled, deciding to let his friend sleep. They got woken up early, he wasn't going to be the one to deny Phil of some much needed rest. 

When they arrived in Cancún, Dan gently shook Phil's shoulder, waking him up.

"Oh hey. Sorry I fell asleep on you like that." Phil mumbled sleepily.

"You're fine. Just glad you were able to get some sleep." Phil smiled, and Dan could never keep a straight face when Phil smiled, it was just too infectious. 

They got out of the plane and the cameras got a few shots of them admiring the new landscape before they were herded into vans and to hotel rooms where they'd be staying while they were here. Dan and Phil once again decided to share, since the rooms were once again doubles. Luke and Will were in the next room over, and Dan smiled, thinking this was going to be a good week. 

They were allowed a few hours to settle in and order some room service, to which Dan and Phil happily obliged. 

Dan ordered the huevos rancheros, sticking to the local cuisine, while Phil decided to be completely uncultured and opted for the fluffy pancakes.

"Really? We're in Mexico, and you order pancakes?" Dan asked incredulously.

"What? Pancakes are just about the best thing to happen to this world."

"Besides me, obviously." Dan chuckled.

"Obviously." Phil rolled his eyes, and soon they were eating and sipping on orange juice. 

They got a call a few hours later to head to room 401, which was a party room in the hotel that the show had rented for their stay and which would effectively serve as their 'lounge' here, where they could mingle and where they'd read out date cards. 

Dan sighed, honestly not feeling all that excited about the idea of dates. These group dates were overwhelming, and he just wanted to get to wander the city. But that wasn't what they were here to do, so he sucked it up and headed to the elevator with Phil, making their way to room 401. 

Once everyone was there, Dan was the one who was asked to read the date card, and he got up in front of the group, feeling a bit awkward that all the attention was on him. 

"Um... okay it's a one on one." he started, and the excitement in the room was clear.

**Luke**

**"Will this relationship sink or swim?"**

Everyone congratulated Luke. Dan smiled, because as much as everyone was competing here, and jealousy was strong between some of the guys, no one could really help but like Luke, who was somehow friends with everybody. No one could find it in themselves to be angry or jealous for this one on one, so they all just wished him luck as he headed out. 

As the camera crews and producers were packing up, Dan decided to ask the question he'd been wanting to since arriving, even though he was pretty sure of the answer.

He made his way to a producer, and got their attention.

"Hey, I was just wondering. Are we allowed to like... explore the city at all when she's out on dates? Just like walk around and stuff?" The producer frowned and apologized, saying that they needed to get footage of all the men together throughout the days so they'd have some by the end of the week which they could put in the final episode, and unfortunately it'd just be too complicated if they had people coming and going from the building. Dan nodded, expecting that answer, and made his way back to Phil, who was now chatting with Will. 

They spent their day mostly hanging out in Dan and Phil's room, Will joining them since his friend was out on a date. They found some board games in the hotel and brought them back, playing Sorry and Parcheesi. Eventually they decided to go to the hot tub and were relieved when they saw no one else was there. They sat in the hot tub for a while, and Dan's head began feeling a bit floaty from the heat.

He felt a clammy, pruned foot touch his under the water, and he kicked it playfully, earning a kick back. He saw Phil look over at him and grin as he kicked, and soon they were in an all out war, wrestling with their feet and splashing each other as Will scrambled out so he wouldn't get dragged into the play fight.

After Dan had finally conceded the win to Phil, his feet sufficiently trapped as Phil stood on his ankles, they laughed and got out, drying off. It was good timing too, as a group of the other men were entering, and Dan didn't really feel like hot tubbing with them. Especially since they all looked like freaking Ken dolls and bodybuilders, and were being followed by a camera crew.

They made their way back to Dan and Phil's room and ordered room service, all crowded on Phil's bed, watching old reruns of Friends on the TV until Luke walked in late at night, a huge smile on his face, a rose in hand, and a trace of lipstick on his lips.

"So... how'd it go?" Dan asked, grinning because it had clearly gone well. 

"It was pretty great. She's really easy for me to talk to and we just... I don't know. Click." There was a general congratulations from the group, and eventually Luke and Will went back to their own room, leaving Dan and Phil. 

They were still sitting on Phil's bed with their empty plates in their laps, and they both shifted to put them on the end tables as they sat back, continuing to watch Friends. 

Eventually it got late and they brushed their teeth and changed into pajamas. When they returned they both went back to Phil's bed, because the TV was centered right in front of that bed, and it was more comfortable to watch a show together this way. 

They started out sitting up, but after two and a half episodes they had both sank and were now half sitting, half laying across Phil's bed. Dan was exhausted. It was a little past midnight, and he'd been woken up far too early that morning to be acceptable. 

He didn't really notice as he sank down, ending up with his head on Phil's shoulder and chest, his arm resting on Phil's ribcage. He was laying on his side now, not really paying attention to the TV anymore as he began to sink into sleep.

"Dan. Dan do you want to go back to your bed?" Phil asked, tapping Dan's shoulder before he fell asleep. 

"Nuhhhh 'm cozy here..." Dan mumbled into Phil's shirt, curling his body so it made a C shape. 

"Dan these beds are pretty small, you should probably go back..." Phil said, but Dan could tell by his tone of voice that Phil would be easily persuaded, and Dan was just sleepy enough that he knew he was going to take full advantage of that.

"Mmmm you fell 'sleep on my shoulder on the plane... You can deal." He felt Phil's chest rise and fall slowly as he sighed, and then felt Phil shuffle down on the bed a bit so he was lying down, and Dan adjusted with him so he was able to keep his head on Phil's chest, his ear just above Phil's heart so he could hear the someone quick beat as it slowed down and steadied out, and Dan listened to this, allowing its rhythm to lull him into sleep. 

 

The next four days were boring as hell. They were stuck in this hotel which was even worse than the mansion, with less room to roam, and the first group date neither Dan nor Phil was a part of, so they just had to sit. 

When the camera crews would arrive and tell them to make their way to 401 they'd go and sit through the forced drama of listening to Greg accuse people of being here for the wrong reasons, and watch Johnny try to 'out-man' anyone who would challenge him. It was tedious.

For the most part, though, they spent their days playing board and card games, watching old TV shows, and trying out every single dish on the hotel's room service menu. That was one upside of this show. They paid for you to eat anything and everything you wanted. 

Dan knew that maybe on a show so concerned with looks, where people were always shirtless, that he should maybe be paying a bit more attention to what he ate, but he just honestly couldn't find it in himself to care. Maybe he'd just accepted that he wasn't as muscular as the other men. Maybe he wasn't trying so hard for Lucy to find him 'sexy'. Maybe he just couldn't give a shit about society and expectations. The only thing he was sure of was that this food was  _good._

He and Phil got even closer throughout the week, and by the end of it, it wasn't uncommon for one to fall asleep in the other's bed as a show played in the background.  

At the end of the week there was another date card being read out, and Dan was fairly certain he'd be on this one. 

Johnny got up to read this card, and read out,

**Dan, Jace, Carlos, Phil, Johnny, Dennis**

**"Let's get cookin'"**

Dan didn't really feel excited or nervous. He just nodded and got up, because this was what he was supposed to do. 

They made their way into the vans and drove into the center of the city. They entered a large open building and saw tables set up with flour and bowls. 

Lucy was there wearing a comically tall white chef's hat, and she explained that they were going to be cooking empanadas today. Whoever made the most empanadas that were up to the chef's standard would win a little extra time with her to eat a private meal cooked by the chef. 

They all got set up, and Dan was actually feeling pretty confident. He'd lived on his own for a long time, and he had actually become a fairly good chef. He hadn't cooked empanadas before, but he was confident enough in his cooking abilities that he didn't think he'd totally botch it. 

They watched as the chef went through, expertly folding the perfect empanadas one after the other, explaining the recipe, and then passed a few around so they could all get a taste of what it as supposed to turn out like. They were all sent to individual stations with all the ingredients they'd need, and a timer was started. 

Dan went through, making sure the dough was just the perfect thickness and tasting the filling as he mixed, adding salt as needed. 

He got into a groove with it, and soon he was producing empanadas quickly, first frying up the filling and then filling the wrappers so they were full but not exploding. He was throwing tray after tray in the large oven, and they were coming out a nice golden brown. He looked over to see that Phil was struggling a bit, and he wanted to help, but Phil was at a station all the way across the room and there just wasn't really anything he could do. 

The clock ticked down until finally it beeped and they were told to stop. The chef came around observing the trays, tasting at least one from each person's batch. Lucy followed behind, taking little tastes here and there. When they got to Dan's station, the chef looked intrigued. Dan had the second most made, just after Johnny, but the chef had already been to Johnny's station and explained that half of them were cold in the middle and half were bursting out because they were overfilled. Dan's all looked nice and fairly uniform. 

The chef tried one and raised his eyebrows. When Lucy tried one she gave Dan a smile and a wink. They went to a few other stations and then returned to the front, announcing Dan as the winner. Dan smiled and looked over to see Phil give him a little thumbs up and a grin which he returned. 

Lucy walked up and laced her arm through Dan's, turning to leave. 

"You ready for a nice meal?" She asked, and her eyes glinted as she looked at him. He wondered if she was truly attracted to him, or if she was just acting. Or if she was just genuinely _that_ excited to get to spend time with him, whether she was romantically attracted to him or not. He had to admit, he was surprised he had made it this far. They got along, but they hadn't flirted all that much. So far it was feeling much more just like a friendship, other than that one moment in the pool with her and Phil when she had hugged him. But even that wasn't  _all_ that flirtatious. 

Dan shrugged these thoughts off and remembered that he was here to fall in love with this girl. He was here to prove to himself that the could fall in love with a girl again. Someone who he knew was kind and who would treat him well. 

With that in mind, he laced his fingers through hers, deciding that tonight he was really going to allow himself to be open to falling for her. To be honest he hadn't been yet. Because of his past he was having a hard time being open to loving anyone. He just needed to throw away all his concerns, and just let himself fall.

The camera crews stopped for a moment as they were instructed to go change, and Dan was handed slacks and a button up shirt and told to leave the top button undone.

He walked out and met with Lucy who was now in a soft, flowing teal dress, her dark reddish brown hair falling in waves. 

They made their way to a patio off this building with a romantic setting on the table. It was dusk, and the sky was a beautiful shade of purple and orange. A candle flickered on the table, lighting up their faces as they talked, and soon the chef was returning with beautiful colorful plates of authentic Mexican food. They spoke as they ate, but they were told to mostly try to talk between eating, because it'd make for more appealing shots. It felt strange and unnatural, but Dan fell into the rhythm after a bit, talking and then taking a break for a few bites, then starting a new subject.

"So Dan, how are you liking Mexico?" Lucy asked, her eyes shimmering.

"So far I like it a lot! I mean today's the only day I've really been let out of the house, but the board games in the hotel are fun!" Dan joked, and Lucy laughed.

"I'm so sorry you're all cooped up in there!" she apologized, and though she was still laughing, Dan could tell she was sincere. She really was an incredible girl, and he knew he should be falling for her. He just wasn't there quite yet.

"Oh it's alright. Today's been fun, and I mean just look at this view, it's beautiful!" Dan remarked, and they looked out over the patio at the city's skyline with the ocean in the background, the sun setting on the horizon. 

Lucy reached across the table to take Dan's hand and began playing with his fingers as they talked. 

"So how are you getting along with the other guys in the house?" she asked, smiling up at him.

"Alright. I don't really click with the majority of them, we're just really different people, but I've gotten really close with Phil, and Luke and Will are pretty nice as well." Lucy nodded, taking this in.

"I'm really glad you've been able to find some people you like here." She said warmly, and he smiled.

"Me too. So how's it been for you? Do you think you may have found your husband?" he shot her a wink, and she giggled.

"Maybe..." she said coyly, but then switched to a more serious demeanor as she gave him a more honest and thoughtful answer. 

"I don't know honestly. It's still early and right now I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed at just how many people there are, and trying not to make the wrong decisions. But I've definitely met some amazing men," She squeezed Dan's hand and he smiled. "and I'm having more and more trust in this process every day. So to answer your question, I guess I'm hopeful." Dan smiled, appreciative that Lucy could be fun and joke, but then could also stop for a moment and take the time to give a serious and thought out answer to a question. He really did like her. 

The rest of their meal passed nicely, and Dan actually found himself falling into flirting with her more and more easily as the night went on. At the end of the meal she gave him a rose and he accepted.

She walked him back to his limo, and they turned towards each other to say goodbye. He saw her go up on her tiptoes as she hugged him and knew what she was going for, so he leaned down and kissed her. Her lips were soft and tasted faintly of grapefruit. It was nice and sweet, and he enjoyed the kiss on a basic level. When they pulled away she gave him a large smile.

"I'll see you soon, Dan. I had a great night." 

"So did I." he responded, and climbed into the limo. His heart wasn't fluttering and he didn't have butterflies, but he had enjoyed the kiss, and that was a step in the right direction. 

When he walked back into the hotel room, Phil had waited up for him and had the dessert menu out. 

"I didn't know if you guys had dessert." he said, and Dan smiled.

"We had a little, but I'd never say no to second dessert!" Phil grinned and called in an order and they stayed up late eating rich chocolate and watching Parks and Recreation, falling asleep curled up in Phil's bed, knees touching. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was weird because I feel like a lot happened, but also nothing happened. Idk. Please comment below if you like this style with going a little more in depth throughout the week or not <3 Thank you <3


	6. Week Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why but I was feeling extremely sarcastic as I wrote this chapter. Just be aware that if something is written confusingly it's probably because it's sarcastic. I tried to make it clear through text but it's hard.

How was it already down to eleven men? They'd more than halved the original number, and somehow Phil was still here.

Today the eleven men were sitting in room 401 waiting for some announcement, and Phil heard the others murmuring about how they were pretty sure the group would be traveling again. Phil liked the idea of continuing to travel, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. 

Lucy walked into the room and group lit up. Phil met Dan's eyes and they both sighed, Dan rolling his eyes and Phil giggling quietly at his friend. They both sort of hated how much these men put Lucy on a pedestal, because it just wouldn't lead to a healthy relationship. The two of them plus Will and Luke were the only ones not looking like helpless puppies as they stared at her. 

Lucy began addressing the group, and now Phil felt his interest spark, curious what was going to happen.

"Alright guys, I've heard that most of you have already guessed, and yes you're right, we're traveling for this next week! We are going to.... drumroll please..." all the men started banging on the tables aggressively while Phil's group just kind of tapped their knees, "the Philippines!" There were shouts of excitement, and Phil just couldn't help but feel bad for anyone in the hotel rooms nearby. 

They boarded the plane, and this flight was going to be much longer. Phil swapped his ticket with Carlos, grateful when the Venezuelan allowed them to switch so he could sit with Dan.

The plane began to make its way down the track and then lifted into the air, and maybe it was because it was hot here so there were a lot of warm air currents rushing up from the ground, but the plane was shaking and getting dragged all over the place, and Phil felt his heart in his throat. 

Dan's hand quickly found his, and Phil was honestly worried that Dan might crush a bone in his hand from squeezing so hard, but he was a little more concerned that they were going to fall to a fiery death, so he ignored the pain in his hand. This lasted about seven minutes, Phil and Dan sitting next to each other, eyes squeezed shut, hands squeezing so hard it hurt, but it helped to distract from the awfully light feeling of their stomachs hopping up and around inside of them as they got dragged from side to side and up and down in midair. 

Finally it leveled out and Phil relaxed a bit, but he saw Dan was still sweating and nervous. His grip on Phil's hand had loosened but he hadn't let go, and Phil didn't pull his hand away. After about twenty more minutes Dan finally took his hand back, and Phil wiped his off on his pants because it had gotten extremely clammy.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, because yes it had been scary for a bit, but Dan had seemed  _really_ freaked out, and for a long time after.

"Yeah..." Dan's voice was shaky. "I don't... I don't like being out of control." Phil nodded and reached forward to rub Dan's knee comfortingly.

"I'm sorry. I'm right here, okay? I can't keep a plane in the air, but if you're feeling out of control just focus on me, okay?" Dan nodded and gave Phil a small smile.

"Thanks." 

They both fell asleep shortly after that, and Phil was sleeping peacefully until he woke up to a sneer coming from between he and Dan's seats. 

"Aww looks like the two lover boys have already found their life partners. Might as well just kick 'em off right now!" 

Phil blinked awake, confused. He realized his head was on Dan's shoulder, and Dan's head was leaning down against his.

"Dan... Dan wake up." Phil said, reaching forward to shake Dan's arm. Dan did wake up, confused, moving his head off of Phil's, and now Phil could turn around and see that the voice belonged to Greg. Of course.

"You'd like that now, wouldn't you? Us being kicked off? Is someone feeling threatened?" Phil didn't know where this aggression came from inside of him. He supposed he just didn't like people waking him up. 

"Not in the slightest. You two are so gay Lucy's probably just keeping you on so she has a BFF to go shopping with at the end of all this." 

"Oh yeah, have you had her tongue down your throat anytime recently? Not seeing how that's 'so gay'." Phil shocked himself by saying this, but Greg went quiet and sat back, and Phil turned back around to sit forward in his seat. So he was right that she hadn't kissed Greg yet. 

"Jesus christ, Phil." Phil looked over to see Dan wide-eyed. 

"I don't know where that came from!" Phil squeaked a whisper, hoping Greg couldn't hear. 

"That was pretty cool I'll admit, but maybe try to take the higher road next time. You don't want to feed into the drama, and if the cameras had been here you know they'd twist things." Phil nodded, appreciating that Dan had a level head. 

"I think I need a drink." Phil laughed a little, and when the stewardess came by, he and Dan each got a cocktail. This continued for about forty minutes, them each having three drinks overall, and now Phil was feeling a little giggly. Everyone else in their group had fallen asleep, but he was keeping Dan awake by poking him in the side.

"Dan. You need to know. I really... like reeeeeeallly appreciate you. Like. I'm so happy we're friends." 

Dan giggled at Phil's enthusiasm and nodded. "Me too, Phil, me too."

"Like... this whole thing is worth it. I don't even care if I find love, I found you!"

"Okay, Phil." Dan said, chuckling a bit.

"How are you so sober? You need more to drink!" Phil exclaimed, looking around for the stewardess.

"I can hold my liquor. I'm alright, I don't think I need any more, thanks though. I think maybe you should slow down though, seems like you're just about drunk enough, lightweight." Dan giggled, watching Phil stumble over his words.

"But like really. You're so thoughtful and sincere and helpful. You're like Lucy but a guy and also my best friend!" Phil's eyes widened at this realization, happy about the fact that all the traits he liked in Lucy he found in Dan as well. 

"My hair isn't as good." Dan stated, pointing out the clear difference between him and Lucy.

"Well that's only because you're silly and straighten it! Your hair is soooo pretty when it's all poofy! You look like a.... like a...." Phil trailed off, unable to think of what Dan with curly hair looked like. 

"Like a....?" Dan asked, prompting Phil to finish his thought.

"I don't know! Like an even cuter Dan! Which is entirely unfair, because you're already so pretty!" 

"Jesus christ Phil, remind me to never do shots with you." Dan laughed a little, and Phil pouted, pushing his lower lip forward and making his best puppy dog eyes.

"Awww pweeeeeeese? I wanna do shots with you! Not now. No. Drunk enough. But sometime!" 

"I'll give you a solid maybe." Phil was happy with this answer, and leaned his head on Dan's shoulder.

"You're a good friend, Dan. A really good friend. You're my best friend!" Phil smiled as he realized it was true. He had a best friend, and his name was Dan.

"You're my best friend too, Phil." And had Phil been more sober he would have noticed the thoughtful hesitancy in Dan's voice. The bit of hope mixed with sadness. But he didn't, instead noticing little bits of frost forming around the edges of the plane window since they were passing through the clouds. He leaned over Dan to get a better look at the window.

"Whoa it's freezing! There's snowflakes in the window!" 

"That's ice, Phil." 

"But it's so sunny!" 

"I know, but we're really high up and when you get really high up, it gets cold."

"But hot air rises! I don't understand the world..." Phil pouted again, and then lifted his feet onto his seat, trying to lay down with his head on Dan's lap. Phil was extremely lanky and this didn't work, but he settled for leaning his head in the crook of Dan's arm as his friend hesitantly put his arm around Phil's shoulder.

"Mmmm sleepy bye." Phil mumbled.

"Sleep it off, buddy. We'll get you some water when you wake up." 

 

The Philippines was gorgeous. They were staying in a resort cabin right on a private beach, and the water was warm and blueish green. It was a paradise. 

Dan and Phil were both part of the first group date, along with Carlos and Greg, the latter much to Phil's disappointment. The hint had been ' **Whatever Floats Your Boat'** so Phil wasn't at all surprised when they were taken to a boatyard and led onto a fancy large yacht with Lucy. 

They sailed out and Phil stuck by Dan's side as they ate chocolate covered strawberries and sipped champagne. Lucy was in the middle of a conversation with Carlos and Greg, and Dan and Phil were both content to just sit on the edge of the boat, looking out over the water. They watched as Greg and Carlos stripped off their shirts and threw their sunglasses to the side, jumping into the ocean followed by Lucy. 

"You wanna swim?" Dan asked, turning to Phil.

"Are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure Greg would find any way to drown me and make it look like an accident if I even got close." Phil laughed nervously.

"Not with them, silly. Just us, I just thought it could be fun." Phil considered this. It was really hot and the water looked inviting. On the other hand, this was the deep sea and Phil was pretty terrified of that. Also he wasn't entirely sure how much more footage he wanted to give the world of him shirtless.

"I don't know..." Phil started, but then he felt a push and he was flailing in the air and then falling into the water. He opened his eyes in surprise and saw the expanse around him, righted himself, then swam up to the surface gasping for air, seeing a drenched Dan come up next to him and splash him, a huge grin on his face.

"Well then let me help with that decision!" Dan said, his smile showing off his pride. They rose and dipped with the waves, and Phil couldn't be mad at Dan with that huge grin on his face, dimples at full depth. The water was warm, and even though Phil was a bit scared, he knew that there were crews everywhere that wouldn't let anything bad happen. He told himself to not think, and was mostly able to shove his fears down. 

He did, however, have to get back at Dan for pushing him in, so he took a deep breath and plunged underwater, swimming down to grab Dan's legs in his arms and dragging his friend underwater. 

Dan kicked lightly and Phil turned once they were a few feet down, looking at Dan whose hair made a halo around his head. Phil grinned underwater and he saw Dan smile, a few bubbles coming out of his mouth as he laughed. 

Phil swam up to meet him, and Dan reached forward to take Phil's hands in his. They were still about four feet under the surface, and Phil just looked at Dan, Dan looking straight back. Phil noticed all the tiny little bubbles that connected themselves to Dan's skin. He noticed just how soft all of Dan's features were, and how beautiful his chocolatey brown hair was, especially underwater. 

He felt Dan pulling his arms slightly and Phil pulled back very gently, so their bodies were very gradually being brought together by their hands. They were moving slowly towards each other, and Phil watched as Dan's eyes flicked between holding his gaze, and looking down at Phil's lips, when Phil all of a sudden realized if he didn't get air  _right now_ he was going to pass out.

His eyes opened wide and he kicked his feet, letting go of Dan's hands and rocketing to the surface, gasping for air, shaking his head to get his mopped hair out of his eyes. He blinked several times before the world came into focus, and he saw Dan break the surface as well. 

"Hey.... sorry.... needed.... air...." Phil gasped as he was lifted and lowered by the gentle waves. 

"Not a problem." Dan said flatly, as he turned and began swimming back to the boat.

"Hey, wait for me!" Phil called after, but Dan didn't slow down. 

 

The rest of the date was strange. Lucy came over and talked to Dan and Phil, and she was sweet, but all he could focus on was that Dan wouldn't look at him. He wasn't physically separating himself from Phil, still sitting by his side on the deck chairs of the yacht, but he was quiet, and kept his eyes trained on the water. Anytime Phil would try to talk to him, he'd respond with grunts, or if absolutely necessary, a single word. 

Phil gave up after a while, wondering what he had done wrong, but deciding that asking on a group date where there were cameras everywhere, just waiting to jump at the chance of catching any drama, was probably a bad idea and it'd be better if he saved that conversation for when they returned to their room. 

Greg picked up on this tension, though, to Phil's immense joy. Carlos was talking to Lucy a little ways away, so Greg took his chance to walk up and sneer at the two. 

"Ooh, trouble in paradise? Having a little lovers quarrel, fags?" Phil sighed and decided to ignore him, remembering Dan's advice to not feed into it. Dan didn't even acknowledge Greg's presence. 

Phil did feel a small sense of satisfaction, though, when he glanced over and saw Lucy looking over in their direction, a horrified expression on her face as she looked at Greg. She had heard.

Phil watched Lucy excuse herself from her conversation with Carlos and go talk to a producer, and Phil tried to keep the grin off his face. 

Lucy returned a few moments later, walking straight up to Greg who had sat next to Dan and was whispering taunts at him, trying to break his solemn stare at the water. 

The minute Greg noticed that Lucy was walking up to him, his entire demeanor changed, straightening up and putting an innocent look on his face. Phil couldn't wait to see how this would go. 

"Greg I need to talk to you." Phil had never heard Lucy's voice so flat, and he saw that even Dan took his gaze off the water to look up at her. 

"Of course, you want to go to the other side of the boat so we can talk, sweetie?" Greg asked, a smile on his face, reaching his arm out to take Lucy's hand. He thought he was getting some one on one time. How wrong he was. Phil almost laughed out loud.

"No, I think right here is fine. Better, in fact." Greg gave her a questioning look, putting his arm back by his side when he realized she wasn't going to take his hand. Lucy shook her head. "You really thought you could fool me with this act? What the  _hell_ did you just call these two?" There were cameras everywhere, and Phil was trying hard not to laugh, but when Dan shot a glance at him, clearly repressing a smile, Phil broke and let out a little chuckle. Not only was this karma delicious, but it surprised Phil and made him happy to share this little friendly moment with Dan after he'd been so distant for almost an hour now.

"What the hell are you laughing about?" Greg snapped at Phil, then seemed to realize who was right in front of him and turned back to Lucy. 

"Oh uhm. Sorry. What do you mean what did I call them?" He stammered.

"You're really going to try to keep this up? Try and act like I didn't just hear you use that slur?" Greg looked like a kindergartener being lectured by an angry teacher. Phil could have sworn that if he had a tail it'd be between his legs.

"You need to leave. Now." Lucy's voice was harsh and her eyes were hardened. Greg nodded ashamedly and mumbled a small sorry and goodbye as he got into a lifeboat with a small crew that began rowing back to the mainland. 

Lucy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then turned to Dan and Phil, and Phil was surprised to see that there were tears in her eyes, especially after she had been so strong and commanding only seconds earlier. 

"I am so sorry that you two had to deal with him. I'm sorry I didn't realize who he was sooner. You are two of the kindest and most genuine people I've met, and you don't deserve being treated like that. I know this is sort of breaking the rules..." she glanced at one of the producers. "but I don't care." Lucy walked to the table that held the singular date rose and came back holding it, and Phil was confused. What did she plan on doing with that? "I know I can't give both of you roses, so I am giving this rose to the both of you. You two are close, and I hope this rose can represent your friendship throughout this and keep you strong together. If I could give both of you roses right now, I would."

Phil was still slightly confused, but he thought he understood. This rose represented a promise that they'd both be staying another week. He appreciated the gesture, and gave Lucy a hug, thanking her and apologizing that she had to deal with someone like Greg. Dan did similarly, but Phil could still see that his mind was elsewhere. 

The date concluded and they headed back to the cabin. Lucy showed up and when the group had been gathered by the crew, she explained that Greg had been sent home, not giving much more detail than that. Once they were released, Dan and Phil went back to their room, immediately changing into pajamas. When they both fell into their respective beds, laying on their backs to reflect on the day, Phil looked across the room towards Dan. 

"Dan?" 

"Mhm?" Dan continued staring at the ceiling.

"What happened today?" 

"What are you referring to?"

"We went for a swim and then you got all weird and distant. I didn't want to say anything with all the cameras around." Phil explained, wondering why his friend looked so conflicted and far away.

"I just... I'm sorry." Dan took a deep breath, and suddenly Phil got a feeling that this was much more serious than he had anticipated. "I guess... I have a somewhat unique reason for coming on this show. And the reason, it's... it's still something I'm working on. It's hard for me to deal with or to talk about, and I guess today it just kind of... all got brought up for me and I wasn't expecting it." 

"Oh. Okay." Phil said, deciding that he wasn't going to pry any further. If Dan wanted to tell him he could. "Well if you ever want to talk about it..." 

"I don't think so. Not yet at least. Thanks though." 

"So... are we good?" Phil asked, and Dan finally turned his head to look at Phil. 

"Yeah. Yeah we're good." They went back to a comfortable silence for a while, and Phil was just trying not to think too much about what Dan's reason for being here could be and what could have brought something from his past back up today. Instead, he just focused on the fact that Dan was talking to him again and Greg was gone, and those were two big positives to come out of the day. 

"So... Attack on Titan?" Dan asked, looking over at Phil with a genuine smile on his face, and Phil couldn't help his own smile crossing his face in response. 

"Sounds great." They set it up and Dan came over to sit next to Phil in his bed. 

They ended up watching the show until about 3am, when they both passed out, lying next to each other in Phil's small bed. 

 

The rest of the week went fairly well. They had a bit more free reign than they did in Mexico, since this was a private resort and not a hotel. They had a pool and the beach to explore, though they couldn't go too far on the beach before hitting a sign that told them to turn back around. The house was also large and felt like the mansion, a more communal area for people to come and go. Phil did miss the room service from the hotel, though.

He and Dan were back to normal, though Phil did notice that Dan got lost in thought more often than normal, and one night when Dan came out from his shower his eyes were red and poofy. Phil asked him about it, but Dan brushed it off saying it was just allergies or some reaction to the change in climate. Phil didn't really believe him, Dan's voice was hoarse and it definitely seemed as if he'd been crying, but he decided it'd be better not to push Dan. 

At the rose ceremony at the end of the week, Lucy simply said 'Dan and Phil', and Dan nodded to Phil, who walked up and took the rose, coming back with Dan holding the one from earlier in the week. They had planned for it, and though the other men looked confused, the ceremony continued without any further mention.

In the end, it was Carlos and Johnny who were eliminated, and Phil smiled at their little group of four, happy they'd all made it this far together. 

Phil went to sleep that night wondering what the next week might hold. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of love dropping little easter eggs for my other fics when I write xD If you've read more than one of my fics, let me know in the comments if you ever pick up on these little easter eggs ;) (not just in this chapter)


	7. Week Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's POV

There were only eight men left.

How had Dan made it this far? Sure, he didn't  _not_ get along with Lucy, but he definitely hadn't put in the effort that some of the other men had, and he was honestly surprised he was still here. He still hadn't been able to break through that wall between friendship and romance.

He'd thought that his problems with Alec had been in the past. He really had. But then the other day with Phil underwater... something happened. Dan didn't know what exactly, but it had felt easy and natural and it had scared the living hell out of Dan. 

He hadn't even been thinking, and if Phil hadn't broken away for air, he honestly wasn't sure if he would have kissed him or not. He'd surprised himself, because Dan didn't even like Phil like that. 

He sighed as he laid in bed next to Phil, looking at the ceiling. It was 6am and he'd woken up an hour ago and not been able to fall back asleep. 

Why had he done that? He didn't like Phil, but was there just something in Dan that was  _so_ attracted to men that it didn't matter? Was it his self destructive side making him go for something that he knew would ruin their friendship? 

All he knew was that he was here to fall in love with a girl. Men had hurt him, and he couldn't be hurt anymore. Honestly he wasn't sure if he could survive another situation like he had in the past. Even aside from Alec. 

Before Alec there was Mike, and before Mike there was Henry. Both of them had been less serious than Alec, but both had hurt Dan and taken advantage of him and played him, toying with his feelings and his body. 

Dan had gone through a long period of time where he had honestly not felt good enough to be deserving of owning his own body. He allowed others to take it and do what they wanted with it, because that's what these men in his life had taught him. 

It was only about a half a year ago that Dan had learned _just_ how wrong he was, and he was  _really_ trying to correct that instinct in him. 

He just needed to shake all of this off. Alec was making his way into Dan's brain more than ever this week, and that was the last thing he ever wanted. He also was allowing it to affect his relationship with Phil, and that needed to stop. He'd put in a lot of effort throughout the week to not let it affect them, and he was pretty sure it'd been mostly normal since the day on the yacht.

He needed their friendship to be okay, because Phil was the only person he had right now, and not just on this show, but in the world. Dan didn't have any friends right now. All his friends had been through Alec, because Alec hadn't wanted him to have his own friends. After Alec was taken away, he stopped spending time with Alec's friends for obvious reasons, and no one else really wanted to befriend the broken and sad lawyer who balked the second you got within three feet of him. Dan didn't blame them.

Now he had someone who called him their best friend. Who he could let inside his bubble without panicking. He needed to do everything in his power to not fuck this up, but he was terrified. 

These thoughts raced through his head for hours, and he realized that he was going to be a zombie today after getting nearly no sleep. Oh well.

The camera crew came to get them at eight, and Dan lightly shook Phil awake.

"Ughhhh whaddya want?"

"Crew is here, they need us in the common area in fifteen minutes. You should get up and get dressed."

"Whaa time is it?" 

"A little after eight."

"What the pumpernickel?" Dan laughed at Phil's inventive curse which was groaned into his pillow. 

They got up and changed into casual clothes. Dan didn't bother to straighten his hair which Phil complimented him on, making a blush rise to his cheeks. Of course, he got to return the favor when Phil decided to leave his glasses on which were just slightly crooked to one side, but Dan didn't tell him because it was so messily adorable, and when Phil reached his arms high in the air, yawning, his eyes squeezed shut and his glasses askew, his shirt raising to reveal a strip of skin above his waistband, Dan was pretty sure he'd never seen anything cuter. 

"Alright sleepyhead, let's head down." 

"Mmmmkay." 

They went to the commons and everyone looked pretty rough, to Dan's relief. They sat with Luke and Will, and Dan couldn't believe that their group actually made up a full half of the house. The rest of the house consisted of Jace, Jackson, Dennis, and Samuel. The first three had formed a tight group, being the heavier partiers, and the 'jock group' of the house. Samuel kept to himself mostly, and he intimidated Dan with how clean cut and... adult he seemed. They were an interesting group, and Dan was curious what Lucy saw in all of them.

Just on cue, Lucy walked through the door wearing a kimono.

"How'd you all like to spend next week in Japan?" she waisted no time announcing the next leg of the journey, and Dan was able to push past the stereotype of the costume, because if he could travel anywhere in his life it'd be Japan and he was actually getting to go! He heard a squeak beside him and turned to Phil whose eyes were wide and had a huge smile across his face.

"I can't believe we're going to Japan!" Phil squeaked, turning to Dan.

"I know, me either, I've always wanted to go!" 

"Me too!" 

"Really?" 

"Yeah!" 

They sounded like teenage girls in a sitcom, but Dan didn't even care, he wanted to grab Phil's hands and jump up and down in excitement just to add to the cliche. He didn't. 

They went to their room and gathered their things and then traveled to the airport and into the plane. The whole way to Japan, they were both staring in excitement out the window of the plane and enthusing about their favorite anime and how much they each loved Japanese culture.

Dan didn't think of Alec even once for the whole flight. 

When they landed and were escorted into a Japanese mansion, Dan was certainly disappointed that they wouldn't get to explore right now, but he couldn't be too sad because even just the architecture here and the small Japanese garden out back with cherry trees full of the beautiful pink and white blossoms made Dan smile, and he knew this would be a good week.

He and Phil spent the first hour just wandering through the garden.

"Smell!" Phil grinned and stuck a cherry blossom into Dan's face which he flinched back from instinctively before realizing what it was, leaning in to inhale its sweet scent and smiling. 

"Ghibli tonight?" he asked. "I saw a box set in the commons, I say we steal it and bring it to our room."

"I thought you'd never ask." Phil laughed, and they made their way to their room because the day had been taken up by travel, and they were both pretty exhausted. 

They both fell into Phil's bed, setting up Spirited away from the set they'd snatched on their way back to their room, along with a frozen pizza they'd quickly thrown in the oven. 

They marathoned Spirited Away, Kiki's Delivery Service, and began Howl's Moving Castle, before Dan slipped into sleep, curling up so he could use Phil's shoulder as a pillow. 

The next day there was a group date, and Phil, Luke, and WIll were all on it, leaving Dan alone in the house for the day. Phil gave him a quick hug before he left, apologizing that Dan would be alone. Dan was grateful that Phil was so considerate to think of how Dan's day would be when Phil was going on a date, so he just smiled and said it'd be okay, thanking Phil and telling him to have a good day and to enjoy Japan.

He tried to distract himself in the garden. When a rosebush reminded him of the rose Alec had brought him after the first time he'd taken advantage of Dan and hurt him, Dan left the garden, desperate to find something else to take his mind off of Alec.

He tried talking to Samuel, who quickly found an excuse to leave, so within a short amount of time, Dan was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, as his brain took over. 

All the thoughts he'd been trying to keep at bay rushed back, and he cried for hours, remembering all the awful things Alec had done to him. He remembered how he had viewed Alec as a savior first, though, saving him from all the awful things Henry and Mike had done to him before, only realizing later that Alec was the worst of the three. 

He cried until he fell asleep with nothing left in him to cry, then woke up at about eight with a throbbing headache. He downed three glasses of water and cried more, actually allowing himself to scream into the pillow. 

About an hour later Phil walked into the room. His walk was upbeat until he saw Dan, shaking with sobs on his bed, face in his pillow, which was soaked by now. 

"Oh my god Dan, are you okay? What happened?" Phil asked, rushing over to Dan's side. He didn't respond, just continuing to cry into the pillow.

"Dan what happened? Are you hurt?" Dan shook his head into the pillow, knowing it'd be unfair to worry Phil that he was physically hurt.

"What can I do?" Dan shrugged his shoulders now, biting the salty and wet pillowcase to try to hold back his sobs. It didn't work.

Phil tentatively put his hand between Dan's shoulder blades, making soft and small comforting circles, and Dan found that the touch relaxed him just slightly. He was still a mess, but this small touch helped and when he focused on Phil's hand on his back, he was able to distract his brain just a tiny bit.

"Is this okay?" Phil asked softly, and Dan nodded hard into the pillow.

"Okay. I'm right here, Dan. I'm right here." Dan nodded again, and continued to cry with Phil's hand rubbing his back, his friend sitting down on the bed next to him. They stayed that way for at least twenty minutes, with only the sound of Dan's choked sobs filling the room.

Finally the tears wouldn't come anymore and he felt exhausted and numb. He took in a deep breath, knowing it was time to face Phil. He gathered his courage and sat up slowly, pushing back so he was sitting on his heels, wiping the tears off his face. 

"Dan..." Dan cut Phil off, moving forward to pull his friend into a hug, his tears coming back for a moment as he let out a small noise, crying softly into Phil's shoulder and neck. He pulled away after a few moments and wiped his eyes again, and then grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and blew his nose, tossing the tissue at the garbage can across the room and missing. 

"I'm sorry. Ugh I'm disgusting." He said weakly.

"Don't be sorry, Dan. I don't want to push you, but just... was it someone in the house? Just so I know so I can help." 

"No it was nothing in the house. It's just that... that stuff I told you about before. About the reason I came on this show. It just... I was alone with my thoughts today and that's never good, and it just all came back and..." Dan stopped because he knew he was going to start crying again, and his head hurt and he really didn't want to cry anymore. 

"My head hurts." he whined, reminding himself of a toddler.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Phil asked.

"No, not really. A little cereal this morning." 

"Are you going to be okay here if I go get you some food and ibuprofen?" Dan nodded, whispering a small 'thank you' as Phil left the room. 

He wanted to tell Phil. He really did. But he hadn't ever told anyone about this before, and it scared him. The only person he'd even considered talking to was the therapist he'd gone to twice because he thought maybe it'd help, but he couldn't bring himself to be open with them, not knowing them at all, so they'd just sat in awkward silence for two hour-long sessions, before he decided not to return.

He thought that maybe Phil could be a safe person. He was Dan's friend, and he was honestly the closest friend Dan had ever had. He hadn't even had anyone he'd really have considered a friend who didn't know Alec since probably... what, high school? He didn't even _really_ have any friends then, though, just a few acquaintances and some girls he dated. Dan realized just how sad it was that he honestly couldn't think of a single real 'friend' he'd had since his friend Casey who had lived next door, but moved away when they were both ten and they fell out of touch. Maybe this was what he needed... to have someone to talk to. Then again, what if this made him lose the one friendship he'd somehow made? 

He hadn't decided what he was going to do when Phil returned with a bowl of spaghetti and a bottle of Tylenol. 

Dan took these from Phil gratefully, and the entire bowl was gone within minutes, Dan not even realizing how hungry he had been. He followed it with the painkillers, and sat back, already feeling much better.

"Thank you." 

"Of course." 

Dan couldn't be more appreciative of Phil. For helping him. For not pushing him to talk. Phil not pushing Dan to explain himself made him feel all that more safe to tell him, and he drew in a shaky breath.

"You promise that whatever I tell you, you won't tell anyone else and you'll still be my friend?" Phil's eyes widened at this as he realized Dan was about to explain some of this to him. 

"I mean, unless it's that you're a serial killer or something..." Dan chuckled a bit at this, and realized how amazing it was that Phil was able to make him laugh during a day like this.

"No. Not a serial killer. It's all just... things that happened to me in the past." 

"Dan I'm here to listen, and I won't judge you. I can't imagine anything that'd make me not want to be your friend anymore." Phil reached out to put his hand on Dan's knee in comfort. 

Dan still had his doubts, but this was the most reassurance he'd be able to get, so he took a deep breath before speaking.

"So... I'm not exactly straight..." Dan began, and Phil's eyes widened as he let out a soft laugh.

"Dan, is that all this is? Neither am I, I'd never judge you for that!" Dan's eyes widened at how easily Phil had just confessed to him that he wasn't straight, but he shook his head. 

"No, that's not all there is. Thanks... for not judging though." Phil nodded, his expression returning to a serious state. 

"So... I had some bad relationships. When I was growing up I dated some girls... like throughout high school and then some of university. I thought I was straight, but then I met this guy Henry and we started kind of fucking around but it wasn't like... we weren't doing everything, just like... some things..." Dan was stumbling over his words, trying not to be awkward. "But then one day after a party he... I don't want to go into all the details, but I didn't want to and he didn't care." Phil's eyes widened and he rubbed Dan's knee, whispering a small 'I'm so sorry, Dan'. Dan shook his head to let Phil know that wasn't the end of his story.

"I left him after that. I knew it was wrong so I left him, and a few months later Mike came into my life and I thought he'd be the one to treat me right. I was wrong, and Mike ended up doing the same thing that Henry had. I wasn't... I wasn't as strong that time, and I let him back in after, when he apologized. Twice. After that I cut things off, realizing he wasn't going to change. At that point... I was broken. I was a mess, and then... then Alec came along. 

"I thought that Alec was an angel. He picked up my broken pieces and helped put me back together. He was sweet and gentle, and always told me he loved me while we were... you know. Anyway, things were great for a while, but then he started drinking, and he started doing to me what the others did. The difference was that I loved him this time, and I was already so weak, and when he would come back and apologize I wouldn't hesitate a second before letting him back in. It wasn't just... it wasn't just the... the rape." Dan paused for a moment, never having called it that out loud. "He'd hit me. He liked hurting me, and I let him hurt me... for a long time."

Phil looked horrified and he had moved to take Dan's hands in his, looking at him in concern. Dan didn't meet his eyes, looking at the bedsheets as he spoke. 

"The night it finally ended, he brought a knife. I don't know how far he would have gone if the neighbors hadn't heard me scream, but they did and the cops came and took him away, and I hated myself because all I could think was to hate my neighbors and to hate the cops for taking away the man I loved. I hated myself for screaming and getting him in trouble. I was covered in blood and cuts and may have even died that night if they didn't take him, but I hated them and I wanted him back.

"It took me... a long time. A really long time to realize just how bad it all was, and to start seeing who Alec had truly been. It's been two years now, and I'm... okay... but things still come back up sometimes, and today when I was left alone to think I just... but yeah. That's why I came here. Men have always hurt me, so I figured that if I could come here and fall in love with a woman who I knew would treat me right... it was worth a shot I guess." Dan brought his hands back to grab another tissue and blow his nose. 

"Dan... I..." Phil started, grasping for words.

"You don't have to say anything. There's nothing really to say. I know how bad it was now, and it's in the past. Just... thank you for listening." 

"Of course." Phil whispered. "Can I... is it okay if I hug you?" Dan laughed, nodding, because all he wanted was a hug right now. 

Phil pulled him in close, and Dan allowed himself to shed a few more tears, feeling safe in Phil's arms. 

"You know I'd never do something like that to you, right?" Phil whispered as they hugged, and Dan nodded. 

"Thank you." 

They didn't talk for the rest of the night. They brushed their teeth, and when Dan crawled under his duvet and Phil walked up to the bed, looking up at Dan with a question in his eyes, Dan nodded and lifted the covers. Phil crawled underneath and put the duvet back on top of them. 

This was different. They'd slept in the same bed several times, but every time it had been on top of the covers, and this felt more intimate somehow. Dan gave Phil a small, exhausted smile, and Phil reached out to pull him closer. Dan allowed himself to be held, and fell asleep quickly, exhausted by the emotional day. 

 

 

The rest of the week passed slowly but smoothly. Dan didn't get dragged down into a deep pit of emotions again, and he and Phil just enjoyed the small bit of Japan they had access to together. They felt closer now and Dan was so grateful that Phil didn't bring up what Dan had told him, though he showed his support through small touches to Dan's upper arm or little hugs. He was trying to make sure Dan felt better without crossing the verbal boundary of actually bringing anything up that could set Dan off, and Dan was so freaking appreciative of him. 

Near the end of the week Dan's name was called on the one on one date card, much to his surprise. The date ended up being simple, just wandering the streets of Tokyo. 

It was honestly a dream come true to be here, though Dan kept finding himself wanting to share his excitement with Phil about different things they came across, and would turn only to realize he wasn't with Phil, he was with Lucy.

They laughed and talked, and it was easy. They went in and out of shops, and simply enjoyed Tokyo. At the end of the night they went to a rooftop meal that had been created for them, overlooking the city. The mood was much more romantic here, and when they were done eating and moved to the couch the show had set up, Dan wasn't surprised when Lucy leaned in for a kiss.

He kissed her back, raising his hand up to cup her cheek. It was soft and she smelled sweet and flowery. It was nice... but he felt a little guilty because all he could think about was telling Phil about the life sized cardboard cutouts of all the characters from Yuri On Ice he had found.  

When they pulled away she was smiling, and he returned the grin. 

"I have a lot of fun with you, Dan. You're really easy for me to talk to. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I don't know exactly where your head is at, but that's okay, and I look forward to getting to know you better. I really had a lot of fun today, and it'd be a great ending to tonight if you would accept this rose, Dan." Lucy reached forward to grab the rose off the table, and when Dan accepted it she handed it to him. 

And again he felt a little guilty, because his first thought after receiving the rose wasn't related to Lucy, it was that it meant another week here, and so long as Phil got a rose, another week with Phil.

Phil did get a rose at the ceremony, Dennis, Samuel, and Jace being eliminated.

Dan didn't care about them. He honestly didn't even care that much that Luke and Will were staying. He was just hugging Phil and grateful that he got another week to live with his best friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you so much for reading and commenting. I'm trying to compile a list of prompts/ideas for fics, so please if you have any requests or recommendations, let me know :) <3


	8. Week 7 part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil's POV  
> This is 'Week Seven' for the show, but it spans more than one week of time in filming time. (aka week seven of episodes coming out for viewers), and the different chunks of this week will be broken into different parts.  
> This is part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all incredible <3 That is all <3 Thank you <3

Hometown dates. This week, Phil would be taking Lucy to Manchester and introduce her to his parents. Surprisingly, Phil had barely paid any mind to that. 

Instead he spent most of his time throughout the first few days where Lucy was with Will in Pennsylvania to talk to Dan. Dan had opened up to him so much about his history with relationships, and opening up about that was like opening a floodgate, and all the stories about his parents were coming out as well.

Dan was really nervous to bring Lucy to Wokingham. His past with his parents wasn't as physically traumatic as that with his exes from what Phil had learned, but emotionally it was nearly on par. Dan's parents were extremely religious, and when Dan was a teenager and called a boy at his school cute, his family told him to get out of the house and not to return until he could tell them he liked girls and only girls.

Apparently that had been how Dan got his first girlfriend and convinced himself he was straight, taking her back to meet his parents after a few days of sleeping on a park bench, and being let back in. They still didn't speak to him, though, unless guests were around when they'd act as if nothing was wrong. 

Phil couldn't imagine this. He and his family weren't all that close, so they didn't even know he was bi... or gay... or whatever he was. But they were nice enough. He didn't know how they'd take the information that he liked boys, but he was sure it wouldn't have been in the way Dan's family did. 

Dan asked Phil what he should do, and Phil thought about it a long time before answering. The show made a very big deal out of hometown weeks from what he'd seen, and meeting the family was always a really big deal. They always chose bachelors and bachelorettes who held family as a strong value, and Phil knew that it'd be extremely out of the ordinary for a contestant not to be close with their family. On the other hand, this was Lucy they were talking about, and in no universe was Phil  _ever_ going to tell Dan to do something that would make him uncomfortable in that way.

"I think you should tell her." He said simply, after some thought.

"You think I should tell Lucy I've fucked dudes?" Dan raised his eyebrow, laughing. "Somehow I don't think this show is  _quite_ that progressive yet, unfortunately." Phil laughed, shaking his head.

"No, no not that. I think you should just tell her that you had a hard time connecting with your family growing up, and that you share different beliefs and weren't always supported by them. I think that you should be honest about that, and I think she'll understand. And yes, you'll probably still have to have a short meal with them because of the show, but she'll be there with you and trust me if I could be there too I'd be right by your side."

Dan smiled gratefully and pulled Phil into a hug which Phil returned without a second's hesitation. 

Now Dan was still on Phil's mind, worrying and hoping his friend would be okay as Phil took the plane to his family's town in the UK. It'd be nice to be back for a bit. He knew his mum would be happy that he'd gotten this far.

When Phil arrived, he took a bus back to his small house and settled back in, tidying up a bit just in case he and Lucy ended up here. He really hadn't expected to get this far, so he hadn't bothered to clean it up. It wasn't messy, Phil was a fairly neat person, it just wasn't quite TV-ready. 

He slept in his own bed, and it felt weird to not have someone to talk to until he fell asleep. He missed Dan. He wished he could text him right now, but they weren't allowed to use their phones while on the show, only allowed to keep them on airplane mode to use as alarm clocks/watches, and even though he was home, it was still part of his contract. He didn't know how much they were able to track his phone, and he didn't really feel like testing it. 

He fell asleep quickly, knowing that even though it wasn't too late, he'd have to sleep now if he wanted to be on any semblance of a normal schedule for the UK after the long flight between timezones. 

The show actually gave him and Lucy each a day to adjust. They couldn't leave their respective places at this time, Phil in his house, and Lucy in a hotel he would guess. They couldn't contact people or go out, the show just didn't want them _too_ jet lagged for filming. Phil knew that this week with the hometown visits would actually span two weeks of filming for this exact reason. So much travel with five men for her to visit just didn't allow for itself to be filmed in only one week. 

Phil spent his 'day of recovery' milling about the house doing small chores and watching TV. Really he was just worrying about Dan and trying to busy himself so he wasn't tempted to try and get in touch with his friend. He hoped Dan's hometown would be next... it'd make sense for her to go to both the UK places in a row, and it'd mean Phil and Dan would have an entire week to spend together with little to no interference from the show. They hadn't moved from their Japan location, and Phil was hopeful that maybe they'd actually be let out during that week since the show would be focused on an entirely different part of the world. 

Phil went to sleep fantasizing about roaming Tokyo with Dan.

The next morning he got ready, and then the camera crews were there and they were interviewing him about how he felt about her meeting his family, and he was explaining how he was excited and nervous, but Lucy was incredible and he was sure his family would love her.

Eventually Lucy showed up, and greeted him with a small peck, then smiled up at him. She really did have a gorgeous and incredibly genuine smile. She didn't wear loads of makeup, and her natural beauty was stunning.

"So where are we going today?" She asked, still looking up at him as he used his arm around her waist to lead her down the sidewalk.

"I don't know. There's a really sweet little Mediterranean restaurant I thought we could go to that's right next to a bakery, and then I was thinking we could just wander the streets."

"That sounds perfect." They walked and caught up on the past few days as they made their way to the little restaurant. Phil obviously didn't tell her about the issues Dan had been trusting him with, simply saying that he and Dan were growing much closer and most of his time was spent with his friend. 

Once they got to the restaurant, they sat down at a little booth. They ate and chatted, and Phil learned that she was feeling more and more confident about this whole process, honestly believing she could come out of this with a fiancé. 

"Okay... I have to ask..." Phil started, "at the beginning, there were so many of the... well... you know the classic 'bachelors'. Firefighters and cops and those kind of people. Not nerdy weathermen who straighten their hair." he chuckled a bit, and she did too. "I mean I'm pretty sure Jackson's the only one left who fits that mold all that well. Maybe Luke a tiny bit, but he doesn't really fit the whole 'jock' thing. So tell me honestly, are you just keeping us four around so that Jackson knows he doesn't have any competition, or...?" He laughed so that she knew he was only joking and not trying to accuse her of anything, and she smiled.

"No... I don't know. I guess that I like people who are genuine with me. Who aren't so competitive and aren't trying to 'win me' like I'm a prize. I like the sweet guys who want to form a mutual relationship, because that's the only way it'll last. Most of the guys I've sent home have been because I felt they put me too high on a pedestal, and I'm not perfect. I'm not prepared to move in with someone who views me as 'perfect', only to come crashing down from the throne they've put me on when they realize that I'm just a person. That was my biggest worry coming into this show, and I feel so lucky to have ended up with several men who just talk to me and treat me as a person."

Phil smiled. Lucy was really wonderful, and the way her mind worked was so incredibly down to earth and beautiful. He truly admired her, and for the first time Phil was the one to lean across the table to plant a peck on Lucy's lips. 

"I'm really happy you're the bachelorette." he said honestly, and she blushed.

"I feel a little out of place honestly. I have no idea what I'm doing, I just hope I don't ruin everything." she laughed, twirling a bit of hair nervously between her fingers. This was the first time Phil had seen her nervous, and he was glad that she was able to take down her guard around him.

"Alright, well I know you're a baker, so maybe this will be entirely underwhelming, but I know you said cupcakes are your favorite sweet, and the bakery next door is famous for their cupcakes." 

Lucy's eyes lit up, and she practically jumped out of her seat, reaching for Phil's hand, nervousness entirely forgotten.

"Well then what are we still doing here?" She laughed, and Phil let himself get dragged next door where they got six cupcakes between the two of them. They split them, trying the different flavors. 

Lucy said that they had to try a classic chocolate cupcake with vanilla buttercream, because that was apparently how you judge a bakery, and from there they moved on to more exotic flavors like green tea and cardamom. 

Lucy got icing all over her face as she ate, and Phil helped wipe a bit away, laughing at how little she seemed to care. It was cute. Six cupcakes were too much, however, so they gave the camera crew a few bites, which they knew wouldn't be included in the final shot. 

They walked along the streets and went into several shops. Phil found a delicate light emerald necklace at an antique shop that matched Lucy's eyes and style perfectly, and bought it while she was in the bathroom, putting it in his pocket for later. 

She came out of the bathroom and Phil checked the time, deeming that they should start walking over to his house. They could take a limo but they'd be there too soon, and this way they could just walk and talk.

"So Phil, how's Dan doing? He's seemed a little distant lately... was it Greg?" Lucy looked up at Phil with genuine concern in his eyes, and he smiled. Of course she would be worrying about Dan and angry with Greg. 

"Yeah I mean... sort of." He lied, knowing he was unable to actually say why, and not wanting to reveal that Dan had a secret because he knew if he did that all of Dan's interviews would become about that. 

"I think he's just nervous about introducing you to his family, they're not all that close." Phil decided on. This was safe. He knew from his talks with Dan that he was already going to tell Lucy this, and maybe it'd even help him by having Lucy go into the visit without high expectations for Dan's family.

"I think the nerves mixed with all the travel and jet lag, plus Greg may have just been a bit much for him." Phil concluded, deeming his answer safe and sufficient. Lucy nodded, concern still clear in her eyes. 

"Well, I'm really glad he has a friend like you to help him. You two are really wonderful for each other." Phil smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah we are." He saw a twinge of thought cross Lucy's face, as if she was considering something, but it was gone as soon as it had arrived, and Phil shrugged it off. 

They arrived at Phil's family home, and before they knocked on the door, Phil turned to her.

"I got something for you today. Turn around?" Lucy looked at him in surprise then turned around.

"Close your eyes?"

"Are you about to murder me, Lester?" she joked, and he laughed.

"Just close your eyes." She did, and he draped the necklace around her neck, clasping it shut.

"Open?" He asked, and he saw her hands come up to hold the necklace as she turned around. She smiled and then looked up at Phil and pulled him in for a warm hug, thanking him, and saying it was beautiful.

They knocked on the door, and his parents and brother rushed out to hug him and then to Lucy, introducing themselves. They sat down to a nice roast dinner his mom had cooked, and everything passed in a warm and comfortable blur. 

It was easy having Lucy there. She got along with his parents so easily, and the time flashed by. The only slight hiccup was when Phil's dad turned to him and said warmly, "She reminds me of Louise."

Lucy turned to Phil, eyebrows up, waiting to hear who Louise was. All of a sudden, Phil realized that to the audience it probably sounded like she was a past girlfriend of his, and that was  _not_ what you wanted on the show. He could tell by Lucy's expression that if she was thinking that, she didn't mind, but he felt the need to clarify for the sake of the show.

"Louise was my best friend for several years." Lucy nodded and smiled, then reached over to take Phil's hand in hers. 

"Well being compared to anyone who Phil describes with the word 'best' is an honor, so thank you, Mr. Lester." Phil's dad smiled, and the dinner continued smoothly.

Lucy was actually the one to bring up Dan, telling Phil's family about how happy it made her that they had formed such a strong friendship, since so many guys who went on this show could get so competitive. Phil's family asked about Dan, and Phil told them about the brunette who he had befriended, feeling a huge smile on his face as he talked about his best friend. 

After dinner, Phil walked Lucy out to say goodbye, and he wasn't really sure who started this kiss. He had actually expected this one to last a few seconds, but Lucy pulled back quickly after just a short peck. 

"I'm still a little worried about Dan, you'll take care of him, right?" Phil smiled and nodded, and then Lucy was getting into the limo and driving away. 

Phil said his goodbyes to his family, who even once the cameras and Lucy were gone said that they loved her, and Phil's mum seemed so happy that he couldn't help grinning from ear to ear. 

About forty minutes later there was a knock, and Phil got into the waiting limo, driving to the airport and then flying back to Japan, where he would wait for Dan to return from his hometown visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there are usually only four contestants for hometown dates, I messed something up when looking at the graphs of overviews of past shows, and so there are five in this one. Oops :P sorry
> 
> Also ugh I'm so sorry. Writing any sort of romance between one of the boys and someone else feels so wrong xD But this story just doesn't work if there isn't some connection between them and her. ugh xD


	9. Week 7 part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's POV  
> Hometown Dates, part 2

Dan didn't even realize how much he'd been wringing his wrist until he looked down to see the puffy bright pink flesh that he had rubbed raw. He was pacing back and forth at his flat in Wokingham, and he had somehow forgotten how normal people breathe and blink. He was now trying to count to eight as he breathed in and then out, and trying to remember to blink on every third count. 

He was a mess.

Dan hadn't actually spoken to his family in over three years, so when he was told to call them and his mom actually picked up, saying that of course he had to bring Lucy there for dinner, Dan was honestly shocked. He knew this would be hell. He knew that they were going to put on the 'happy family' act they always did. They always had been obsessed with having the 'perfect christian family' image, so this chance to be on TV was one they jumped on immediately.

Dan honestly didn't know what he was going to do. It was going to be so uncomfortable. Was he supposed to just go along and act like they were close? Be honest and admit on TV that he didn't speak to his family? 

Several times Dan had come to the conclusion that he wished he had been kicked off before this week, even almost deciding to tell them he quit a few times, but each and every time he thought about this he remembered Phil, and he knew that their friendship made this all worth it. He had to stay. He had to make it through this for Phil. 

He wished Phil was there right now. He was pretty sure he would already be on his way back to Japan, if not there already. Dan wished he could just skip this whole date and be back in Japan with Phil, not having to worry about Lucy or the show or his family. 

But that's not how life works.

He fell asleep, and when he woke up and the interviews started, they were having to pause just about every five minutes for Dan to wipe the nervous sweat off his forehead. His hair was curling already from the sweat, and he was a nervous wreck. 

When he saw the limo that he knew contained Lucy pull up, he took a deep breath and fixed his posture, trying to look at least somewhat presentable. 

She stepped out and smiled when she saw him, bringing him into a hug and kissing his cheek. He was grateful that she didn't mention how disgustingly damp he was.

"It's good to see you." She grinned, and he smiled back, letting out a nervous laugh. 

"Yeah... um... yeah you too." 

"So what do you want to do today?" She took his hands in hers, which were clammy as hell, but she didn't bat an eyelash. 

"Um... there's. There's a cafe by here... I worked there as a teenager... I..." He lifted a sleeve to wipe the sweat from his forehead, then returned his hand to hold Lucy's. "I was thinking we could start there?" 

She nodded encouragingly, and they began walking. As they walked, Dan knew that this would probably be his best time to talk to her and warn her about his family without it getting used on air. It was possible, but with all the movement this was probably his best shot. 

"So... Lucy." he began, angry that he could hear his voice shaking.

"You're not close with your family, and you're nervous." She said, and Dan almost stopped walking, turning to her in surprise.

"Phil told me." she clarified. "I've been a little worried about you because you've seemed somewhat distant lately, and I asked him because I know you're close. He told me that you aren't all that close and you've been stressed about this, and I just hope you know I understand. I'm pretty close with my family, but when I was a teenager I had a friend who lived in an abusive household and my family sort of took her in. I've always thought that family is something you need to have control over, and something you should be able to choose to leave if you have to, because while it can be a very strong thing, it can also be extremely dysfunctional and toxic. I've been thinking since Phil told me... and I don't know your exact situation... but if you don't want to visit your family, I talked to a producer just on the way here, and we don't have to. We can just go get dinner someplace local and spend the day the two of us." 

Dan's knees were weak with relief. He was confused and surprised, but mostly he just wanted to scream or laugh or cry and hug her and hug Phil. He kept it together, though, turning to her.

"Are you sure?" 

"Of course, Dan. I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable, and I'm looking for a husband. Someone I can spend my life with. If your family isn't part of your life, I don't see how they're important for me to meet right now." Dan took a deep breath and pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you. It means a lot..." he took a deep shaky breath as they hugged. "I'm sorry I'm so sweaty." They both laughed a bit at this and pulled apart. Dan took her hand in his, and they walked to the cafe. One of the producers confirmed that he'd be calling Dan's family to cancel. Dan knew this would only further drive a wedge between them, but honestly he couldn't give a shit. 

They sat down at the cafe and ordered coffee and sandwiches, Lucy making a joke about how she always made sure to have coffee breath when she was trying to impress a date. Dan laughed as she blew air towards him, and faked disgust. The mood was light, and Dan felt almost giddy now that he didn't have to worry about his family. 

He did bring the mood back to a more serious level at the end of their lunch, taking one of Lucy's hands from across the table.

"Really though... thank you. Thank you for understanding about my family." 

"You should be thanking Phil. He's the one who gave me a heads up. I'm really glad that the two of you are so close and have each other to lean on for support." Dan smiled at this, squeezing Lucy's hand before letting go and standing up to leave. 

"So... now that we're not going to my family's... what do you say we run by the local market and head back to my house where I'll cook you a nice dinner?" Lucy's face lit up.

"Judging by your empanadas in Mexico, I don't think I could ever say no to that!" Dan led her to a market and back to his house, where he began cooking some rice and a stir fry, pulling out a bottle of wine and some glasses. It was a much more casual setting and meal than the dates usually were, and it was strange to have a camera crew in his house, but Dan was a very neat person, so he didn't really mind. 

The food was good, and they talked for a while, about family surprisingly. Lucy told Dan about her family, explaining how her father taught her how to bake and her mother was the breadwinner as a doctor, so they weren't exactly your typical household. She had an older brother who was also her best friend, and they had a corgi. It was a nice dinner, and afterwards they poured themselves both a second glass of wine and made their way to Dan's back porch, looking out over his backyard. 

"Dan... how are you feeling about this whole thing? This show, I mean." Lucy asked, and Dan was surprised by the straightforward question, not knowing exactly how to answer.

"I don't know to be honest. I mean I'd love to be able to say that I'm head over heels in love with you and think you're going to be my wife, but... we've only known each other for about two months. Seeing someone as the person you'll spend the rest of your life with is a big thing. I guess I'm just... still working things out. I really do like you, though, and I always enjoy spending time with you. I think I like you more and more every time I see you." Lucy smiled as she looked out over the yard.

"That's why I like you, Dan. You're honest. I know that if you did end up telling me you loved me that you'd mean it."

"I would." he agreed, and they sat in silence for a while. 

"Next week is fantasy suites. A whole night without cameras." she said, and it wasn't accompanied with a coy wink or a nudge or anything. Just a simple statement. 

"Yeah. If I'm still here, I look forward to that. Not having to worry about being on camera... that'd be nice." 

"Yeah... if you are still here, I'm very interested to get to know you better." They were quiet for several minutes after that, just sipping their wine and enjoying the brisk evening air. 

Eventually they stood up and hugged, saying their goodbyes, and then Lucy was gone. Dan smiled. The day had been nice, and he hadn't had to see his parents. Not only that, he was able to be honest with Lucy about his feelings regarding this show, which felt like a huge weight off his back. This had gone well. 

 

He flew back to Japan the next morning, and they had four days before the cocktail party and rose ceremony.

When Dan snuck into he and Phil's room at around 3am, he put his things down gently, trying not to wake his friend. Phil looked so peaceful laying there, and Dan wanted nothing more than to hug him and thank him for helping with Lucy and his family, but he held himself back, telling himself he should let his friend sleep, and they could talk in the morning.

When he climbed into his bed, he heard a small groan, and looked over to see Phil, eyes still closed, with his arms open, holding the duvet a few feet off the bed. Dan smiled and walked over to Phil's bed, climbing under the covers and allowing Phil to wrap his arm around Dan's waist from behind.

"Glad you're back." Phil mumbled in his ear. "I missed you." 

"Missed you too, Phil." Dan whispered, and then he heard Phil's breathing even out as his friend fell asleep, and Dan smiled, allowing sleep to take him as well. 

 

Dan didn't wake up until noon. He wasn't too surprised, the jet lag was confusing, and he was glad he had a few days to work it out before the rose ceremony. Dan got up and brushed his teeth and changed into fresh clothes after a brief shower, making his way downstairs to see Phil eating cereal alone. 

"Hey." Dan said, voice scratchy and groggy.

"Morning, sleeping beauty." Phil responded, laughing a little.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Well... Jackson and Luke are both out in their hometowns right now... Jackson should be arriving back first. Will... he didn't come back. Someone got his luggage, I guess he got eliminated." Phil looked a bit sad, and Dan was surprised. It sucked that Will had left, and he felt bad for Luke now. He didn't know what he'd do if Phil got eliminated, especially without even coming back, just having his bags mailed off one day and realizing he was gone. Dan sighed and made his own bowl of cereal, sitting next to Phil on the couch. 

"So we have the whole mansion to ourselves?" He asked, and Phil nodded. 

"It's all ours. Luke left yesterday afternoon, and I've been so lonely. I'm glad you're back." 

"Me too. Hey, thanks by the way. For talking to Lucy. She actually worked it out so I didn't have to see my parents and that was  _such_ a relief I can't even tell you. She said it was all thanks to you, so... thanks." 

"Of course, Dan. I'm glad it worked out. How was it, being back in Wokingham?" Phil asked, smiling at his friend.

"It was a bit weird honestly. I've been gone so long, it's strange to be back. I don't really... it's hard to imagine just going back and being a lawyer again. It just feels like that part of my life was so long ago."

"Well... maybe it's time to start a new chapter of your life." Phil said simply, and Dan raised his eyebrows. He'd never even considered for a moment not being a lawyer. What would he do? How'd he make money? He had to admit though, the idea of a new chapter sounded good. Ever since Alec, his job had felt like a constant reminder. The one thing that had stayed constant throughout, and he did sort of want a complete change to separate who he was now from who he was then.

"Yeah, maybe." was all he ended up saying. 

They ended up having a pretty relaxed day, Dan recovering from jet lag. They mostly just sat out in the garden sipping on beers, playing stupid games like twenty questions or I spy to pass the time. Even so, Dan didn't get bored. Being with Phil was fun, he didn't really care what they did. 

"Alright, Phil, I spy with my little eye something blue." 

"Um... the sky?"

"No."

"Those flowers?"

"No."

"The fountain?"

"No."

"The writing on the label of your beer?" 

"No."

"What else is blue?" Phil laughed, looking around.

"I don't know, Phil, what is?" 

"I give up! I don't see anything else that's not blue."

"You really want to give up?"

"Yes..."

"Your eyes."

"My eyes aren't blue! That's not fair, my eyes are like three different colors!" Dan looked closer and saw that Phil was right, there were flecks of green and yellow in there too, but he had to win.

"Ehhh they're still blue." 

"Shut up!" Phil laughed, and pushed Dan who almost spilled his beer but caught it at the last second, them making shocked eye contact, then laughing again.

This was how their entire day passed, and Dan was so happy to be back with his friend. 

"I really missed you." He mumbled as they crawled into Phil's bed and switched the TV onto something that neither of them really paid attention to, just wanting the background noise.

"I missed you too. I kept having to remind myself to pay attention to Lucy because I'd see things that would remind me of you and I'd just be wishing you were there so I could show you." Phil said, and Dan smiled.

"Me too."

"So like... we're a package deal, right? If one of us wins, Lucy's just gonna have to deal with the fact that the other one is moving in too." Phil joked, and Dan laughed, but in the back of his head he thought about just how nice that sounded, to live with Phil.

He didn't even notice that he wasn't thinking about what it'd be like to live with Lucy.

 

Their next day was spent mostly enjoying the hot tub, not having to feel self conscious because chiseled men or camera crews were watching, just getting to relax and enjoy each others' presence. When the hot tub would get to be too much, they'd play pictionary which was an absolute flop because Dan wasn't a great artist, and Phil was absolutely awful, not to mention the fact that he would interpret the prompts in the weirdest ways that made absolutely no sense to Dan. Still, they had fun, and the time passed quickly.

 

At the end of the week, Jackson and Luke returned, and the cocktail party ensued. Dan decided after Luke had been talking to Lucy for a while that he should probably go and talk to her, but when he saw them around the corner, he stopped. Lucy had her hand on Luke's knee, and she was doubled over, laughing so hard she snorted, and tears were shining in her eyes. Luke was laughing too, but he was mostly just gazing at her, adoration clear in his eyes. 

Something clicked in Dan's mind right then, and he smiled softly, backing up and returning to where Phil and Jackson sat, deciding to leave Luke and Lucy alone so they could have a few more minutes.

Jackson was the one to be sent home that night, and Dan looked over to Phil and smiled.

Once again, they had at least one more week together, and Dan felt little butterflies fluttering about in his chest. 


	10. Week Eight Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil's POV  
> Fantasy suites part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, just a heads up so you're not disappointed.

Finland was beautiful. They had traveled here after the rose ceremony in Japan, and now they were settling into their new house. The numbers were so far down now that each man was assigned their own room, and Phil felt strange not sharing a room with Dan. It felt quiet and empty as he settled into his room, and a huge smile appeared on his face the second Dan came in, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

"Hey." Phil greeted.

"Hey, I couldn't sleep. Can we like... I don't know. Watch something?" Phil smiled at Dan and nodded, happy to have his friend back.

"Of course we can." Phil set up the Princess Bride on the TV, and they settled into Phil's bed. 

"Thanks, Phil. You're a good friend." Dan murmured, turning on his side so he faced towards the center of the bed. 

"You too, Dan." Within minutes Dan was asleep, and Phil only made it about half an hour into the movie until he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open, so he clicked off the TV and settled down into the bed, turning to face Dan. 

He looked so peaceful asleep. When he was awake, Dan always had a certain aura of stress and conflicted thought about him. He always seemed like he was overanalyzing something, and Phil could tell it exhausted him. Seeing Dan's features relaxed, his lips parted just slightly, no creases of worry on his forehead, made Phil smile. Dan truly was beautiful, and his hair was all curly right now.

Phil had been tired before, but looking at Dan now he felt almost giddy. He wanted to jump up and down and shout out to the world that this man was his friend. He knew it was silly, but he just had this huge sense of pride, and seeing Dan relaxed made him so happy. Phil took in a deep sigh and let it out, watching as the air from his breath ruffled Dan's hair slightly. 

He just watched Dan for a while longer. He knew it might be a little creepy sounding if he had explained it, but it just felt easy and he was really enjoying getting to see his friend without a wrinkle of worry on his face.

Eventually Phil did fall asleep, and he dreamt about Dan. He dreamt that they lived together. He dreamt that Dan cooked him dinner and they had a dog, and they all sat around the dining table eating live fish who were singing a song about wanting to be eaten as the dog sat upright along with them and told them a story about its favorite coffee shop, and Dan held Phil's hand on the table. It was a weird dream, and when he woke up he was confused, but it was funny and it made him happy. 

After waking up, though, Phil realized what this week was. This was the week of fantasy suites.

Phil was first. 

Lucy came in and he was called, and she took him out into the snow. He bundled up and they got in a large truck with snow chains, and began driving.

"How are you today, Phil?" Lucy asked, smiling over the scarf that was wrapped up and around her chin.

"I'm good. A little chilly." He chuckled, and she laughed, leaning over to hold onto his arm. 

"Really? It's a bit warm out here for my taste." she replied, and they both giggled. 

They made their way to a mountain, and when Phil saw the contraption going up and down the mountain, he balked.

"We're going skiing!" Lucy exclaimed, excited, and Phil laughed.

"I'm going to kill myself! Or someone else! You don't want to get impaled by a ski!" 

"Well, it's a chance I'm willing to take!" Phil shook his head, laughing as he put on his ski boots and skis, grabbing two poles that were handed to him.

They awkwardly made their way to the lift and got in line.

"Have you never gone skiing before?" Lucy asked, chuckling as Phil nearly fell for the third time on the flat ground, leaning over to grab her shoulder for support.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked, and Lucy made sure her shrug was exceptionally dramatic. Phil laughed. "You?" 

"Yeah, I've been a few times. It's a rush, you'll love it!" Phil wasn't so sure about that, and he almost screamed when he stood in front of the lift and the seat came swinging around, lifting them up into the air. 

They made their way slowly up the mountain, Lucy giggling as Phil kept looking down in fear. 

"What if we fall? What if the seat falls off?" 

"It won't fall off. Phil, we're safe. Just look at me, okay? Don't look down." Phil obliged and looked over at Lucy. She looked especially adorable right now, a hat with ear covers holding in her deep reddish brown hair that poofed out once it escaped the confines of the hat, a green scarf wrapped around her neck and chin. Her lips were pink and her nose was tinted red from the cold. Her skin was light, making her dark freckles even more obvious, her clear green eyes glinting.

"You're cute." He said, smiling, and she grinned back.

"So are you. Though you're so pale, I'm glad your jacket's bright blue, otherwise I might lose you in all this snow!" She elbowed him playfully, and Phil panicked, holding onto the armrest for dear life. Lucy just giggled, and Phil shot her a look saying 'don't you dare do that again'. 

They finally made their way to the top, and Phil awkwardly slipped off the seat, stumbling and flailing his arms to try to find his balance, until falling backwards on his butt in the snow. Lucy laughed and skied over to help him up, and they made their way to the top of the easiest hill. 

From the bottom this hill had just looked like a small slope, barely even a hill. From up here, Phil felt like he was looking straight down a steep mountain. 

"I can't believe you're making me do this." He laughed, and they pushed off, zig zagging their way down the hill. Phil actually made it nearly all the way there, but when he got close to the bottom he took one curve too sharp, and ended up catching his ski sideways in the snow, flipping over and falling into a mess of limbs and skis stuck everywhere in the snow. 

After a few seconds, Lucy made her way over.

"You okay, Phil?"

"Yeah... yeah I'm okay. Just a second." Phil reached back to press the latch that undid his ski, allowing him to maneuver and stand up before clicking his boot back in and shakily making it to the bottom of the hill.

"We don't have to go again if you don't want. There's a cabin with some nice hot cocoa waiting for us." Phil nodded gratefully, and they went to wardrobe and transportation to switch into cozy sweaters and be taken to the cabin. 

Once they arrived, they did have hot cocoa waiting with marshmallows, and Phil hummed in appreciation as he sipped it. They ate a nice dinner provided by the show, and at the end, Lucy took out a letter which said that they had access to the fantasy suite tonight if they wanted. 

"What do you think?" She asked, smiling across the table at Phil.

"I would love to." he responded confidently. He knew that there was always a huge stigma around the fantasy suite night, since it was a night without cameras and it was down to three contestants at this point, this was the time where some bachelors or bachelorettes would decide to have sex. It was always a big deal, but that really wasn't what Phil was thinking about right now. He really just wanted a chance to talk to Lucy. To get to know her outside of this show. Away from the cameras. 

Lucy smiled and pulled out the key. They got up, and Phil laced their fingers as they went into the bedroom where the cameras couldn't follow. 

Phil had a truly wonderful night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I left it with a cliffhanger, and I'm sorry. I sort of wanted to give this chapter the same feeling as you have in the show, not exactly knowing what went on. I also know this was a short one, don't worry it's only part one of this week!


	11. Week 8 Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's POV  
> Fantasy Suites part Two

Dan had a hard time sleeping. Phil was at the fantasy suite with Lucy, and Dan was alone in his single room, and everything just felt... off. He couldn't place a finger on it, but something just felt wrong tonight and his mind was racing around in circles without thinking about anything in particular. He didn't actually fall asleep until after 4am, and when he woke up it was already early afternoon. 

Dan got up and put himself together a bit, then walked over to Phil's room to see if his friend was back. He really wanted Phil to be back. He knocked on the door, and smiled when he heard an immediate, "Come in!" 

He opened the door to see Phil on his bed, setting a journal down on his end table.

"What's that?" Dan asked, indicating the journal as he walked up and sat down on the other side of Phil's bed. 

"Oh, nothing. It just helps me to write down my thoughts sometimes." Dan nodded, curious, but Phil would tell him if he wanted.

"How was your night?" Dan didn't know why, but the question made him nervous. He felt a small lump in his throat as he waited in anticipation for Phil's answer.

"It was good. Really good actually. We talked a lot, and I think it really helped me to get to spend time with her off camera." Dan nodded, but then raised his eyebrows at Phil, who had not answered what was clearly the obvious question.

"We just talked. Neither of us is religious, but we both agreed that sex didn't feel quite right in this environment." Dan nodded, and he felt a huge wave of tension he didn't even know he was holding in flow out of him. He didn't know why this was such a relief to hear, but it was and Dan was happy. 

"Well I'm glad it went well." he said, and Phil smiled at him. 

"Me too. We talked about you a lot actually." 

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Just about how I'm really lucky to have you as a friend. I've been pretty lonely for a while, and even if I walk out of this whole thing with nothing to show for it except you as a friend, it'd be worth every minute." 

Dan felt a blush rising to his cheeks as he smiled, looking down at the bedding.

"Thanks. You too." 

They made their way out to the kitchen, where Luke was making ravioli from scratch.

"I forgot you were a chef!" Phil exclaimed, and Luke looked over, chuckling.

"Yeah, when there were more guys here I don't know... I just didn't really want to cook. Now that it's a bit quieter and there are less people who will be trying to steal all the food, I'm kind of missing my kitchen and it's nice to get back into it."

"Well it smells amazing." Dan threw in, and it did. It smelled delicious. 

"Thanks. Do you guys want some? There'll be plenty for just three." Luke smiled, and Dan and Phil enthusiastically nodded.

"How have you been?" Dan asked Luke, feeling a bit bad that there were three of them left, and Luke definitely felt like the odd man out since Dan and Phil were so close.

"I've been good. Will left which sucks, but it's almost over so I'll get to talk to him soon. And hey, everyone has to leave at some point, right? I'm just happy that I've been getting along really well with Lucy. I don't know where you guys are at, but... I think I might tell her I love her tonight. I realized it a few days ago... I really think I've fallen for her." Dan smiled at this. He was happy for Luke. He knew that he was supposed to feel protective or jealous or something, but Dan was easily able to separate himself, understanding that this was the nature of this show, and he really was happy for his friend.

"That's great. I say go for it, if you're that sure." Dan said, and Phil nodded in agreement. 

"Thanks, guys. Let's make a pact that whoever wins this all, we'll all support them and be their groomsmen." Dan and Phil both agreed with Luke's suggestion, and they all moved to the dining room as Luke finished up the ravioli and plated them.

The food looked and smelled delicious, but it tasted even better and Dan and Phil both hummed.

"I am so glad that you weren't on the cooking date in Mexico. You would have blown my empanadas out of the water." Dan said, and Luke chuckled.

"Yeah, you won that right?" Dan nodded in confirmation, because his mouth was full with the next ravioli.

The three of them spent the rest of the day together, and though Dan generally enjoyed just spending his time with one other person, being overwhelmed by groups, Luke was nice and he enjoyed getting to know him a little better.

That night they didn't even discuss it as Dan followed Phil into his room and they fell asleep watching some love story with a girl and a boy and horses.

The next day Luke had his fantasy suite date, and Dan and Phil spent the day milling about the house, going outside to the hot tub every once in a while and enjoying the feeling of the hot water when they were surrounded by snow. At one point when they were in the tub it actually began snowing, and Dan watched as a large flake landed directly on Phil's nose, who went cross eyed to stare at it.

Dan laughed because it was so dorky, and so adorable, and just so  _Phil_. 

"You look ridiculous." he laughed, splashing Phil so that the warm water melted the snow on his nose.

"Hey! I liked him and you killed him!" 

"Him?"

"Frederick! I named him and he was my friend!" Phil pouted indignantly, and Dan tried to hold back his laughter, playing along.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you and Frederick were so close."

"Well we were! He was my best friend!" 

"Oh wow, I guess I'll just be going now..." Dan said, standing up as if he was going to get out of the hot tub, and Phil laughed, reaching forward to grab Dan and drag him back down, but Dan hadn't been expecting that so he toppled over, falling into Phil, limbs tangling as they writhed around in the water, Dan trying to get off his friend. 

"Sorry!" Dan laughed, making his way back to his own seat.

"You're fine, it's my fault for pulling you down. Though I think my bum is bruised now somehow." Phil said, rubbing the side of his hip and ass in pain, where he had fallen back against the edge of the tub. 

The day passed, and the next day Luke was back and the three of them spent the day together again. 

The day after that it was Dan's date, and he got ready and gave Phil a hug before stepping into the limo. 

He ended up at an amusement park, and he smiled. This would be fun, and it'd help him forget about the inevitable stress that comes along with a fantasy suite date. 

He was right about it being fun. It turned out Lucy shared his love of thrill rides, and they spent the majority of the day screaming as they went on ride after ride after ride. They ate cotton candy and conversation flowed easily. Dan was having a really good day. 

As the sun began to set, they took a limo to a cozy house where a romantic dinner was already set up. Their conversation from earlier continued, flowing naturally and going over easy subjects. At the end of the meal the card was presented, and Dan accepted the overnight, some of his stress relieved since he knew that she hadn't slept with Phil, so maybe that wasn't something he'd have to worry about. Sex was a big deal to Dan, especially after his history with it, and he didn't feel ready for that.

Luckily, when he found himself alone in the room with her and heard the camera crews leave, she just walked up and hugged him.

"Hi." She said softly.

"Hi." 

Lucy pulled back and sat down on the bed and Dan joined, sitting across from her.

"How are you feeling, Dan? About everything. This whole process." Dan thought for a moment, taking the time to give an honest answer.

"I'm feeling good... but I'm a little confused."

"Confused?" 

"Yeah. Honestly, I'm surprised I'm still here. I get that you like my honesty and everything, but... well, and here we go I'm going to show my honesty by just being straightforward... we haven't even kissed much. I feel close to you, but from watching this show before I came on, I know people usually have a lot more... physical affection by this point. I don't know, I guess I'm just surprised." Lucy nodded, thinking, and Dan waited for her response. When she spoke, it was the last thing Dan had expected her to say in the middle of this conversation.

"How are things going with Phil?"

"What? Oh um... they're good. He's a really good friend." She nodded slowly, listening.

"Dan... if you're going to be completely honest... can I be too?" She asked, and he saw that this seemed important to her, though he had no idea where she was going with it.

"Yeah, of course."

"I don't think you're in love with me. And I don't think you're going to fall in love with me." Dan raised his eyebrows, surprised, and opened his mouth to respond, but she continued. "And that's not a problem. That's okay, I'm really happy to have met you and to have you in my life. I think this show has worked and I think I've found love... and I think you may have too... just not with me." Dan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and Lucy sighed.

"This is a show. I can't exactly just end it early because I know who I'm going to choose. But I've known for a little bit now if we're being completely honest with each other. I mean, I've barely even given a guy a peck other than Luke for a while now. The viewers must know... but I have to keep it up for the sake of the network." Dan nodded, taking this in, and then smiling.

"Congratulations. Have you told Luke yet?" 

"No... I want it to be a surprise."

"Did you tell Phil?" He didn't entirely understand her knowing smile as he asked this question.

"Not in so much detail as I told you, but yes. He knows that I view him more as a friend." 

"Well I'm really happy for you. Honestly. I saw you and him talking at the rose ceremony last week, and you two seem perfect for each other. He's a really great guy."

"Yeah... he is." They were silent for a while, just sitting there.

"Phil's a really great guy too." She said after a while, and Dan was confused for a moment, wondering why she said that if she'd already decided she only viewed him as a friend, before he realized what she'd been hinting to all along.

"Wait, you think he... You think I... that we... what?" Dan stammered, and Lucy giggled at the blush that came to his cheeks.

"I'm not telling you who you are or what you like, and who knows, maybe you two are just really good straight friends. But I see the light in your eyes as you look at each other or talk about each other that I feel in my own when I'm with Luke." Dan took what she was saying in slowly, chewing on this new idea.

Did she really think that he and Phil might be able to be something more? Did he want that? He had come here so sure that he needed to find a girl because men had always hurt him, but he couldn't picture Phil hurting him for a second. 

"Do you really... do you think he likes me?" Dan asked, and he was so glad the cameras weren't here to pick up how pathetic he sounded.

Lucy laughed at this, shaking her head. "I mean... I can't say for sure. For all I know the guy could be straight, but I think it's a definite possibility."

"He's not straight." Dan said without thinking, in response to Lucy's question, and her eyebrows raised a little.

"I'm just saying... I know that hopefully by the end of this I'll be in a wedding gown, but I can also rock the maid of honor look pretty well if I do say so myself." She giggled as Dan elbowed her, blushing. 

"I just... I don't even know. I haven't even thought of him... like that. I guess... we are closer than most guys are with their friends." Dan laughed a little, blushing. "You know we actually cuddle sometimes. And we always share a bed. Since like the third or fourth week." Lucy started laughing here, shaking her head again.

"You two are idiots. And you are  _so_ in love with each other." 

"Wait so what are we supposed to do?" 

"Well... I don't want to hurt any feelings, and you know everything now, so... I'm going to have to let Phil go this week. I suggest you say something to him before the cocktail party so he knows before you're separated for a whole week with no communication. Then I'm going to choose Luke at the finale and you can go home and either continue being friends, or maybe you two will pull off the blindfolds and realize that the love you've been looking for has been the person cuddling you  _every damn night._ " She laughed for a bit, then seemed to think of something, and put up her finger. "Or I guess... maybe put the blindfolds on...." She winked at Dan, and he elbowed her, giggling nervously.

"I just don't know. Thank you though. For being honest with me."

"Of course. Do what feels right to you. That is why you're still here, though, to answer your original question. I really do like both you and Phil and I hope we can all stay friends. You two felt safe for me to keep till the end, and along the way we could build our friendships. I've really enjoyed getting to know you, Dan."

"You too, Lucy." They climbed under the covers, and it took Dan a long time to fall asleep, running over every minute he had spent with Phil since he had got here. He finally was able to sleep once he had settled on a conclusion. He wasn't sure about  _love_ , but he was pretty certain that he liked Phil Lester. A lot. And he was going to do something about it.

 

When Dan woke up Lucy was already awake, wandering around with a toothbrush in her mouth.

"Morning!" She smiled. "You work out your feelings for our little Lester?" Dan blushed and coughed a bit, sitting up to answer her.

"Yeah actually... I think."

"And?" Her grin was ear to ear.

"I think that you're a hell of a lot smarter than I am." Dan responded, and Lucy squealed, jumping up and down and clapping her hands, toothbrush bobbing in her mouth. She ran over and pulled Dan into a warm minty hug. 

"I'm so happy for you! Go get that boy!" Dan laughed at her, and playfully shoved her shoulder. 

"I thought a lot of things could come out of this show, but I have to say I never thought I'd be getting set up with one of my competitors  _by_ the bachelorette herself." Lucy giggled and shrugged.

"Roll with the punches?" She joked, and Dan smiled. "We have the cocktail party tonight and then the rose ceremony... You should probably go talk to Phil. Oh, and don't forget to keep up the act for the cameras." Dan nodded and got up, changing into a fresh outfit and got into a limo, shooting back one last thank you to Lucy. 

Dan did get interviewed a lot about that night, be he continuously resorted to just simply saying that they had a great night and learned a lot more about each other. It seemed like a safe vague answer that couldn't go against anything she might say, and wouldn't get him in trouble. The producers seemed frustrated with that answer, but there wasn't anything they could do about it.

When Dan got back to the house, he took a deep breath before entering. He took a moment to remind himself to _really_ look at Phil. He wanted to see if he really did have feelings for Phil, and he was determined to allow himself to be open to it today so he could work it out.

When he walked in, he didn't find him at first. He checked the time and saw that it was still fairly early, and made his way to Phil's room, knocking on the door.

"Whaddya want?" A sleepy voice came from inside, and Dan smiled. Phil's morning voice was cute. He opened the door, and now that he was looking for it, he noticed how Phil's eyes lit up the minute he saw Dan walk in. He pushed himself backwards in the bed into a sitting position, and tapped the bed next to him to invite Dan over. 

Dan complied, crawling onto the bed to sit next to Phil under the duvet. 

"Morning." Dan smiled.

"Someone's chipper. Did you get laid?" Phil asked, and Dan was so taken aback by the question that he laughed out loud. He'd forgotten what last night was meant to be.

"No... no I didn't, Phil." 

"Oh... good." 

"Good?"

"Eh... wouldn't be fair?" Phil's answer didn't seem quite convincing.

"Really?"

"Don't question me, Dan, it's early." Phil grumbled, leaning his head down to press his forehead into Dan's shoulder and then twisted so his head rested in the crook of Dan's neck and shoulder.

Maybe Lucy had been right.

"Phil..." Dan began, and the seriousness of his tone made Phil sit back up and turn to him a little. Dan twisted in the bed so he was facing Phil as well.

"Next week is the finale. It came up so fast. If you're there... do you think you're going to propose?" Phil's eyes widened at this.

"Holy crap I hadn't even realized we were so close. I don't know... I'm not ready, I'm not prepared, I don't have a ring, I haven't even said I love you, I _don't_ even love her yet, wait I'm not ready for this..." Phil started panicking, and Dan reached forward to take Phil's hands in his, calming the man and getting him to look Dan in the eye.

"Hey, hey it's okay. Lucy's sweet. She told me yesterday that she didn't even really care if she got a proposal, because she didn't want anything to be unnecessarily rushed. She said it could ruin a relationship with good potential to rush it." Dan lied, but it seemed like something Lucy would agree with so he excused himself for it. 

"Okay... okay yeah. Holy shit I just didn't realize we were so close to the end." 

"Yeah it snuck up, for sure." Dan agreed. A part of him was definitely happy that Phil hadn't planned out a whole proposal for Lucy. That he didn't love her. Maybe Dan actually had a chance. The more he talked to Phil the more he realized he did have feelings for this man. It scared him a bit... the idea of being with a man again, but when he remembered it was Phil, his worries left. Phil wouldn't hurt him.

They ate breakfast and began getting ready for the cocktail party, and Dan was trying to think of how to tell Phil but he couldn't. Finally, they were getting a five minute call before they had to be in the limos, and Dan and Phil were in the bathroom making sure they looked camera ready, and Dan knew this was his last chance before cameras would be around to catch anything and everything. He turned to Phil, who looked up at him, waiting for him to say something, then confused when Dan was just silent, looking at him.

Dan knew he should say something but he couldn't think of what. Words seemed to have left his brain entirely, and he was opening and closing his mouth and Phil was staring at him, and he didn't know what to say.

So he said nothing. He simply reached his hands up to cup Phil's face, leaning forward and pressing their lips together.


	12. Week Eight Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swapping POV  
> Hometown Dates pt. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you all for being so incredible :) Honestly every time I refresh my dashboard and see that I have new comments it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You guys are so inspirational, and you're the reason I write <3 Thank you <3
> 
> Sorry if you hate short chapters, these weeks broken into parts have been short :\

Dan was kissing him.  _Dan_ was kissing  _him._

Phil froze. He didn't kiss back and he didn't pull away, he just froze, eyes wide in shock. Dan's hands were cupping his face, and his lips were soft, moving against Phil's and trying to get something in return, but Phil couldn't move. 

"Please, Phil." Dan whispered as he kissed him. "Please do something." Phil slowly allowed his eyes to close, moving his hands shakily down to Dan's hips, resting them there.

He kissed back tentatively, softly, confused as to what was happening. He felt Dan draw in a breath as he felt Phil's lips begin moving, and Dan began kissing him with more intensity. He kissed Dan back for about two seconds before fully realizing what was happening. 

This was Dan. This was his best friend, and he didn't know what had come over him, but he knew that they were supposed to be here for Lucy, and this was all wrong, and if anything could ruin their friendship it'd be this. 

Phil pushed himself back, sending Dan stumbling back a bit as he shoved the hips he had been carefully grasping moments earlier. Phil just looked at Dan in openmouthed shock, and Dan's lips parted.

"Phil. Oh my god Phil I am so sorry..." 

Dan was cut off by a knock at the door and a crew member calling in that they had to be downstairs _now_.

Phil took one last look at Dan and then turned and rushed out of the room, heading down to the lounge to start the cocktail party. 

 

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, FUCK. He'd been wrong. He'd gone and screwed everything up. Of course the one time Dan actually makes a friend he has to go and kiss him. And on the fucking Bachelorette, what did he expect? Phil was explicitly here for the reason of falling in love with this girl, and Dan had actually thought he might like him? Dan just wanted to go back in time now. He never wanted Phil to look at him the way he just had again. Almost as if he was scared of Dan.

Dan ran his hands through his hair, grabbing at the back of his neck and scratching around to the front, not caring that he'd just ruined fifteen minutes of fidgeting with his fringe to make it perfect. He exhaled and angrily walked down the steps to the lounge, standing on the other side of Luke from Phil. He was so angry with himself. 

Dan looked over to try and catch Phil's eye, but Phil was intentionally looking straight forward as Lucy entered the room.

Dan couldn't help notice her noticing them standing on opposite sides of Luke and shooting him a quick questioning glance before verbally greeting them. 

"Well, we're down to the final three. I am so thankful to each of you for being so patient with me in this process. I'm looking forward to spending tonight with you, so let's get the night started, shall we? Dan, can I steal you for a moment?" Dan nodded and stepped forward as she laced her arm through his and they walked to another room, sitting on a couch. 

"Dan... how are things going in the house?" He could see in her eyes that she was asking about Phil, but the cameras made this conversation difficult. 

"Oh um... I don't know. I guess being cooped up with the same people for so long is getting stressful. Today hasn't been great, but you know... so it goes. It's easy to do something that won't go over well." Dan tried to keep it casual sounding, but still getting across to Lucy that he had tried and it hadn't gone well.

"I'm so sorry. But hey, tomorrow's a new day, maybe you all just need some time to yourselves for a bit, and then everything will be fine." She smiled, and Dan understood what she meant. Phil was leaving tonight and he wouldn't see him for a week. She thought that maybe that'd be the time they both needed to work through their feelings, but Dan knew it wouldn't help. He knew t'd be the nail in the coffin of their friendship. 

 

Phil sat on the bench, waiting. Why had Dan kissed him? Did he like him? Was he trying to throw Phil off? No... Dan wouldn't do that. Phil couldn't think of any reason Dan would kiss him other than liking him, but that couldn't be it. Dan Howell _couldn't_ have feelings for Phil. he was just... Phil. 

His head snapped up as he saw Dan and Lucy returning from their talk, and Dan looked a bit shaken. He met Phil's gaze, and Phil looked away immediately, not quite ready to deal with... whatever had happened. 

Lucy approached Phil and he stood up, allowing himself to be escorted into the other room. When they sat down, Lucy's eyes were serious, and Phil knew what she was about to say was important.

"Phil... I've noticed you're seeming a little off today, are you okay?" 

"Yeah... yeah I'm fine. Just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess."

"Okay... well I'm just a little worried about you. I hope you're leaning on your friends, right? Because you know, your friends really care about you. They really do." She looked at him meaningfully here, and his eyebrows raised slightly. Was she trying to tell him that she knew about the kiss, just wording it sneakily so the cameras wouldn't pick it up? No... that was impossible.

"Dan for instance. I know you two are really close, and I know he cares about you _so_ much. He told me that things were just sort of tense in the house this morning, and I hope you'll just remember that things have a way of working themselves out, and remember to give second chances because you have some amazing people in your life who you don't want to lose." 

She knew. He didn't know how she knew, but she knew. Phil blushed and played with his fingers, mumbling a small, "Thanks, I'll keep it in mind."

 

They walked back to the lounge and then Lucy was disappearing with Luke, and Phil and Dan were left alone. He knew they couldn't just say nothing, they'd too obviously been friends this whole time, and the network was probably already biting at this piece of drama. 

"So..." Phil started, and Dan looked up, surprised. Phil saw that Dan's eyes were glossy, and wondered if his friend was holding back tears. "Are you nervous about the rose ceremony?"

Dan sighed and sat up fully. "Yeah. And no. I don't know." he said tiredly, and Phil felt bad, because he knew he was the cause of this. He didn't want this. Sure, he hadn't been ready for Dan to kiss him, but Phil didn't want to give up this friendship so quickly.

"So we still have our agreement, right? That we're a package deal. If Lucy chooses one of us, she has to deal with the other coming along too?" Dan's eyebrows raised as he laughed at this, and Phil smiled. Hopefully Dan understood what he was trying to say. That they were still friends, and Phil wasn't about to leave Dan in the dust just because of a silly kiss.

"Of course, we swore on it!" Dan responded, and Phil allowed himself a sigh of relief. They continued to chat, and there was still some tension below the surface, but they were able to ignore it... for now. 

When Lucy and Luke returned, they were glowing. The group set up for the rose ceremony, and Lucy took a deep breath.

 

Dan wasn't ready for Phil to go. He needed time. He needed to be able to talk to him. Phil had talked and joked with him a bit, but he knew it was all for the cameras, he needed to actually get to talk to Phil before he just... left. 

Dan could feel Phil's warmth from beside him, their arms nearly brushing as they waited. This was torture.

"Luke... will you accept this rose?" Lucy asked, and Luke walked forward to accept. Dan looked over at Phil, and Phil looked back with a somewhat sad smile. There was only one rose left, and they both knew a goodbye was fast approaching.

Lucy picked the rose up, rolling it over in her hands, a sad look on her face.

"Dan... Dan will you accept this rose?" 

Dan took a deep and long breath before moving, and when he started walking forward he was pretty sure he heard Phil whisper a small, "Congratulations." but he wasn't sure. He took the rose.

Chris Harrison stepped in, and gave his speech about Phil saying his last goodbyes, and then the cameras were watching them as they parted and Dan just wanted to hide and to drag Phil into a room where no one could see or hear their conversation, but he knew that he couldn't. 

Phil said goodbye to Lucy first, hugging her, and Dan actually saw a tear roll down her cheek as she said goodbye. He was pretty sure that when she whispered something in his ear, he heard his name also, but he couldn't be sure. 

Phil went to Luke next, hugging him and wishing him luck.

And then Phil was turning to Dan and taking a long shaky breath before approaching. 

Dan didn't know what he had been expecting, but it wasn't the warm hug that Phil pulled him into, stroking his back.

"Text me the  _minute_ you get out of here, okay?" Dan felt a choked sob rise in his throat, and he wasn't able to hold it back as a small sound escaped him and he hugged Phil back.

"Of course I will, you idiot." 

Phil pulled back and smiled at Dan through teary eyes.

"Good."

And then Phil was gone, stepping into a limo that already contained his luggage and being taken away, and Dan was left standing with Lucy and Luke, wondering why he was even here anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm literally to the point of having nightmares about making a mistake in a fic without realizing and then posting it. 
> 
> I'm too far down the rabbit hole xD


	13. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the finale isn't live and is actually filmed like a month before airing, but in this it's filmed just like a day before airing. For the story's sake. Sorry if that bends reality a bit too much for you :\
> 
> Also this story has evolved into one with really short chapters so I can switch between Dan and Phil fairly quickly, sorry if you're not a huge fan of shorter chapters

The house was quiet. Phil had called in to the station, and he'd be back on air in a month as a weatherman, but until then, he was just... there.

The first few days of being back in the house, Phil busied himself with basic tasks; grocery shopping, paying bills, laundry. 

Once day four rolled around, all he wanted was to talk to Dan. He realized how lonely he was without his best friend. Phil had next to no time alone during the show, and now he felt empty sitting on his couch all alone, watching an anime that Dan had recommended to him. He wanted Dan to be there.

He thought about Dan a lot. He thought about their friendship... he thought about their kiss. Phil had come to the conclusion that it  _had_ to mean Dan was attracted to him. He probably hadn't meant to do it and it probably wasn't something that was going to last, just an impulse during a stressful day, but _something_ in Dan must like Phil.

Phil didn't know what to do with that new information. He liked Dan... a lot... but just as friends, right? He didn't even know anymore. He would go back and forth in his head late at night between all the reasons he should like Dan and all the reasons it was an awful idea. 

He'd narrowed it down to some basics, and actually written out a 'pros/cons' list.

**PROS**

**He's my best friend**

**He's attractive**

**He makes me laugh**

**I'm always happy when I'm with him**

**He's a good kisser**

**He's... Dan**

**CONS**

**He's my best friend**

**I could lose him**

**My family**

**His past**

**Is he in love with Lucy???**

 

Phil looked at the lists, and mulled it over. Yes, there was one more in the 'Pros' section, but there was a really big one in the cons section that Phil wasn't sure he could handle. 'His past'. Phil knew what Dan had gone through and that Dan was adamant going into this about finding a girl because he had past trauma with men. Of course Phil knew he'd never hurt Dan if they were together, but would Dan be able to handle being with a man again? 

The more he looked them over, the more each of the cons seemed to loom higher over him, until finally he got overwhelmed and crumpled them up, throwing them in his fireplace and groaning in frustration. 

He couldn't. It just wasn't worth the risk. He and Dan would be friends, and that would be it. 

 

He kept that resolve throughout the week. On Monday night he knew the finale would be airing, and he made himself some popcorn, sitting down to watch it start.

He almost laughed at the style of the show as he watched it. It all seemed so gimmicky. There was so much over-dramatization, and it was actually making Phil giggle, until he saw Dan and felt a pang of loneliness stab through him.

He realized suddenly... what if Dan was engaged? What if right this very second, Dan was engaged to Lucy? He knew in the fantasy suite she had told Phil that she was feeling more of a friendship connection with him, but what about Dan? This would have to have been filmed yesterday or the day before.... Phil found himself cringing at the idea of Dan being engaged, and suddenly he was worried for what he was about to see.

He'd never seen Dan interact with Lucy all that much. A bit on group dates, but never one on one. What if he was completely in love with her? Then why had he kissed Phil? And why and how had she somehow seemed to know about it on Phil's last day there? 

Nothing made sense, and Phil found himself anxiously chewing his lip as he watched the show progress in anticipation.

It was dramatic, there was tons of build up, but finally they were at the point where Lucy was going to talk to Dan, and they would see first if he decided to propose, and second if Lucy decided to accept. 

Dan looked stunning. He was in a simple blazer and white button up with slacks and nice shoes, but he had allowed his hair to stay curly and his face was soft and open, and Phil missed him. 

 _God_ he missed him. He found himself wishing he could just step through his TV screen and wrap Dan in his arms, never letting him out of his sight again. 

Lucy walked up, and she was a vision in green. She smiled at Dan and he smiled back, and there was something... knowing. Something knowing and understanding about their expressions. It made Phil nervous.

Lucy approached Dan and took hold of his hands, and they smiled. Dan was the one to begin to speak.

"Lucy, from the minute I stepped out of that limo and began talking to you, I knew I liked you. You have one of the kindest hearts of anyone I've ever met. You are beautiful inside and out, and incredibly insightful and understanding. You're smart... and you tend to know things about people before they even know themselves." here, Dan and Lucy both giggled a bit, as if this was an inside joke. "I am so lucky to have gotten to spend all this time with you, and I would be so lucky to get to keep you in my life and get to spend even more time with you..." here it comes. This was when Dan would get down on one knee, and Phil felt like he was going to puke. 

Holy shit. Phil sat straight up. How had he not noticed sooner? He couldn't bear the thought of Dan proposing, because Phil  _did_ like him. He _did_ want to be with Dan. It had been unclear until now, but seeing Dan about to propose was making Phil sick, and there could be only one reason for that. He felt a tear trail down his cheek at this realization. He had missed his chance. He had missed his chance and now Dan was about to go down on one knee and propose to this girl.

But Dan didn't go down on one knee. No, he just pulled Lucy in for a hug, and spoke beside her ear, smiling. 

"And I think we will stay in each others lives. I think I will get more time with you. But I also know that you have a man waiting for you who is in love with you, and who I know you love, and I'm not that man, Lucy." Phil felt as if his heart, which had been stuck in his throat until now, dropped out of him and onto the couch.  _What?_

Dan pulled back from his hug, and both he and Lucy had tears in their eyes as they smiled at each other. 

"Congratulations. He's a lucky man." Dan said, and Lucy blushed and smiled.

"Thank you, Dan." She said softly, and no more words seemed necessary as she squeezed his upper arms lovingly before leaving and getting in the limo.

Phil barely paid attention to the beautiful proposal and acceptance when Lucy went to Luke. He was too busy pulling out his phone to call Dan, and....

_Shit._

Phil almost laughed at how ridiculous this was. Dan was his best friend, yet they hadn't been allowed phones during the show, and he had never actually gotten Dan's number. Phil couldn't believe this.

The rest of his day was spent scouring online and making several phone calls, until finally he had what he needed, and he was walking towards the address he held on a slip of paper in one hand, flowers in the other, and a heart beating out of his chest.


	14. After the Final Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember what I said about easter eggs? ;)
> 
> *Also with the time jumps, it's however many days/months/years after the original time, not the last time segment*

Dan had thrown his suitcases in his room and was lying on his bed, searching through facebook on his phone for a Phil Lester because he'd been an  _idiot_ and forgotten to get Phil's number before he left, when Dan heard a knock on his door.

He sighed and tossed his phone on his bed, getting up and straightening himself quickly in the mirror before walking up and opening the door.

Dan's breath hitched.

He had not expected to see Phil standing there with a bouquet of sunflowers, looking up shyly. 

"I would have brought roses, but I think we've both had enough of those for a lifetime." Phil laughed nervously, and Dan's eyes were wide, taking the bouquet of large yellow flowers and placing them carefully on the table inside as he invited Phil in. 

"Thank you..." he said softly, and then realized  _Phil Lester_ was standing in front of him. The man he'd felt was a missing hole in his life for the past week, and how had Dan not done this already? He rushed forward and pulled Phil into a hug, and he heard a soft laugh escape Phil. "I missed you." Dan whispered.

"I missed you too." They pulled apart and laughed a little, then made their way to Dan's couch where they sat down. 

"I watched the finale." Phil said, smiling nervously, and Dan felt nervousness overtake him.

"Yeah? What... what'd you think?" 

Phil took a long and deep breath before answering.

"I think that I made a mistake, Dan. I think that I was an idiot, and... when you kissed me... I just wasn't expecting it and didn't know how to deal with it." Oh god, Phil had mentioned the kiss. Dan just wanted to forget it and leave it in the past now that he knew Phil didn't feel the same.

"Phil, it's okay we don't need to talk about-"

"But then I watched the finale, and when I saw you with Lucy and thought you were about to propose..." there was a long silence as Dan waited for Phil to continue, and Phil just looked at Dan, biting his lip nervously. 

And then Phil did the last thing Dan expected. He leaned forward and kissed Dan. 

Dan's eyebrows shot straight up in surprise at the kiss, and he backed away.

"Wait wait wait... what are you doing?" He asked, and Phil flinched back.

"I'm... I'm sorry... I thought that's what you wanted." Phil stuttered, and Dan rushed to correct him.

"No I mean. It is. I do. I just... it's not what you want... is it?" Dan asked, and Phil laughed.

"Dan we're really bad at this. Yes. Yes it is." Dan felt his heart do a flip flop in his chest as he grinned and leaned forward, and this time neither of them pulled back.

 

* * *

**Two Months Later**

"Dan, how much stuff did you bring? Jesus christ!"

"I can get rid of some of it... sorry."

"No it's fine, it's just. This is a London flat, they're smaller."

"I know, I know. I'm just so used to Wokingham."

"And I'm used to Manchester. But we're in the city now, we've gotta get used to city living!" 

Dan laughed as they squabbled over where to put all of their stuff in he and Phil's new flat. They had decided to move to London together shortly after Dan had taken Phil on an official date to start their relationship about two months ago. Phil was offered a weatherman job on a much bigger network than the one in Manchester, and Dan somehow managed to get an internship with a guaranteed paid job within months at the station, working in video editing.

Now they were in their new flat, and they had too much stuff, but Dan couldn't care because he was moving in with  _Phil._

"So... we could deal with all of this and spend the whole day trying to get rid of things and unpack... _or_ we could order a pizza and sit on our couch, using boxes as a table, and watch a movie?" Phil suggested, and Dan sprung at the idea.

"See, this is why I love you." The words left him easily, and he hadn't even noticed he'd said them until he saw Phil freeze, staring at him in shock.

"I love you too, Dan." Phil said slowly, a smile forming across his lips, and Dan felt a surge of warmth rush through him as he leaned forward to kiss his boyfriend.

* * *

**Five Months Later**

"That was amazing." Dan gasped, breathless as he laid back on their bed, looking at the ceiling, his vision swimming.

"You're amazing." Phil smiled, curling against Dan.

"Thank you. For waiting. I know it took a while, but I just..." Phil's fingers found Dan's lips to stop him from speaking.

"I know this is a big deal for you. We'll always go at whatever pace you need, okay? Thank you. For trusting me."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

**Eleven Months Later**

Dan took a deep breath as he fumbled with the box in his pocket. 

"Are you sure it'll be special enough?" He asked, nervously.

"Dan, it doesn't have to be some huge event. Just make sure to tell him how you feel and to be honest. I know you can do that." Lucy smiled, and Dan pulled her in for a hug.

"Thanks, Luce. You're the best." 

"I'm still expecting to be your maid of honor." She glared at him jokingly, and he laughed.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Good. Now go. Go get your man."

"I will..." Dan said, and deep down, he knew Phil would say yes.

* * *

**A Year and a Half Later**

"Hey, husband." Dan relished in the word as he pressed his forehead against Phil's, his arms around his neck as Phil's hands found his waist, rocking slowly side to side.

"Hey." Phil whispered back, as they swayed together to their first dance as a married couple.

* * *

**Three Years Later**

"She's beautiful." Phil whispered, as Dan felt her tiny fingers wrap around his pinky. "I love her so much."

"I love her too, she's perfect. She takes after her dad that way." Dan said, pointedly looking at Phil so he knew Dan was referring to him, and Phil smiled.

* * *

**Twenty One Years Later**

"Honey, are you sure you have everything you need? You have your pillow, clothes, toiletries..." Dan began to list off.

"I'll be fine. My college is only two hours away, it'll be okay Dad." Rachel said, and Dan sighed. 

"You're right, you're right." He gave her one last teary goodbye and watched as Phil followed, and then she was walking off and he and Phil were left alone, staring after her.

"We did good, Dan." Phil said, hugging Dan from behind and talking in his ear.

"I know we did. I'll miss her, though." Dan leaned his head back against Phil's.

"Me too."

* * *

**Sixty Years Later**

"Checkmate!" Dan exclaimed, knocking over Phil's king, and standing up in victory, careful not to stand too fast since he didn't want to re-injure his back. 

 

"Fine, fine. You're the chess king, I'll never beat you." Phil conceded, laughing. 

"I'm spent, time for bed?" Phil nodded, and they brushed their teeth, climbing into bed.

Dan gazed into Phil's soft blue eyes, now surrounded by wrinkles and age spots, and shook his head slightly in wonder as to how Phil was still so beautiful. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Phil's mouth, followed by a brush of his lips against Phil's nose.

"You're adorable." he whispered, and Phil blushed.

Dan loved that even after all these years, he could still make Phil blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this <3 Please comment below what you thought, and PLEASE send me any prompts/requests/suggestions either in the comments or to mollieblack123@gmail.com :)  
> I'll respond to each and every comment :) <3 Love you guys


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